Una Canzone per la Perdita
by danidarling
Summary: A song for the Lost: Ever since Bella's birthday party and her accident, Jasper's become rather obsessed. And what Jasper wants, Jasper will eventually get. Rated M for violence, language, etc.
1. Preface

Preface

_I threw myself at Edward, a growl of rage escaping my throat, as we smashed through Bella's window. Her__brown eyes widened, her shriek of terror chasing us as we fell__, her scent fading in the descent, drown out by the clean scent of the rain._

_The burn in my throat faded along with the sight and smell of her blood, and I drew myself together, falling into a crouch, as Edward backed toward the forest, snarling. He was nearly at the edge, preparing to fade into the trees, when I leapt, my spring carrying me effortlessly into the air. Edward turned and ran, his emotions flickering between anger and fear._

_And rightfully so. He had interrupted me during the turning point; the point I had been longing for so long. Bella had been waiting, her body stretched out beneath me, her scent flowing in tantalizing waves, her blood pumping, her heart racing, her lips moving._

_Whispering my name, calling, begging me. "Jasper! Jasper, please!" I had been oh-so-close._

_And then that bastard had snatched it away. He had leapt through the window I had neglected to close, driving me from her, threatening me, __getting in the way of what I desired the most: My sweet Bella._

_I tailed him; he was only seconds ahead of me, but his speed and abilities made those seconds seem like hours, those feet like miles. He may be able to read my mind, but I had experience, something he didn't. Years of battling newborns made even a nearly century old vampire like Edward seem like a vampire barely out of his first year._

_With a burst of speed, I veered left, making a large, curving hook around Edward, until I was about a hundred yards ahead of him, in a reasonably clear area._

_I climbed a tall pine quickly, my motions nearly silent. About three-fourths of the way up, I paused, perching on a strong branch. My eyes scanned the dark forest, seeking Edward. I waiting for something, to reach me; his scent, the barest sounds of movement…_

_Or the waves of anger and fear, still rolling off him in never-ending waves as he neared me._

"_Gotcha." I whispered the sound no more than a wisp of air passing through my lips. Keeping my mind carefully blank, I shifted, as Edward paused, in the middle of the clearing; this was all too easy._

_I sprang from the tree, toward his back, ready to tear his head from his body as soon as I landed. I grinned in anticipation, relishing the thought of defeating my one obstacle to the one I craved._

_Edward turned at the last second, catching me off guard. He threw me into the trunk of the tree I had just leapt from, causing it to shake. Several branches fell, hitting us, and bouncing off harmlessly._

_I struggled, but Edward's grip tightened, surprising me. One hand came up, catching me in the throat painfully._

"_Someone's been hitting the big game, eh? Like steroids for vamps." I chuckled weakly, wheezing my words. Edward growled, his hand flexing around my throat again. I didn't need to breathe, but the feeling of my windpipe being crushed was still painful._

_"You won't hurt Bella. I won't let you." snarled Edward through clenched teeth.__Hatred oozed from every syllable_

_"Don't be a hypocrite, Cullen," I chuckled as he gripped my throat even harder. "You want her as bad as I do." _

_"You're wrong!" screamed Edward, now applying tremendous pressure to my neck. _

_"You know its true Cullen." I said as I looked him straight in the eyes "I can see the thirst in your eyes;__I could feel the lust coming off you in sheets__.__" He looked away as his head dropped _

"_Say your prayers, Jasper Whitlock. You'll never touch Bella again." Edward growled, his nails slowly digging into my marble skin._

Dani's A/N: Oooh, a cliffy already? We're so horrible. If you've gotten this far, then you officially rock =D. And if like you this, wait for the next (and first official) chapter. Sorry if it's confusing, being thrown this before you have any idea what's going on, but that's how we roll, and you'll understand eventually. Read and Review, because reviews are like cookie fuel for us, which makes the story move faster. Flames will be used to toast our vampire victims and marshmallows .

**J's A/N: Like it? Hate it? Leave us comments!!! Need feedback =]**  
**Don't hold back. All comments will be taken into consideration =]**  
**And don't worry, so far things look like they're gonna rock =D**


	2. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own a copy of the Twilight saga, which is no way my work. If I did, there would be chaos. **

Terror.

Absolute terror and despair came at me in sheets through the sheet of glass, leaving me feeling miserable as I watched the figure toss and turn in her sheets, low cries passing through her lips.

That terror, that sweet fear that oozed of her frail body, reminded me of the way she felt that night. The night that led me to this point, watching her.

I felt sick, perverted, watching her in her most private moment. But I couldn't control it anymore; I had to have her.

I felt stupid watching her, torturing myself like this like that idiot Edward. "I'm nothing like that him" I muttered softly to myself, barely a whisper in the wind.

Perfect, pure Edward who would never give in to the thirst. Even when he had her so close, alone. It would have been far too easy to let his teeth rip through the fragile skin, like tearing a wet tissue.

I'm not that Cullen fool. I will never be. I will succeed where he failed. I will have Bella Swan. I will have her blood.

Bella's terror reached a crescendo, and I flinched, dropping away into memories of the last time I felt that much fear from her.

***

_NO! My voice rang through my head, but it was already too late. Her blood was already falling, the scent, oh god the smell. It was heavenly, like nothing I had ever experienced. I must have it. My mind blanked, the blood lust consuming me, and I leapt, instinctively leaping for her throat, aiming at her jugular like a rabid dog._

_I leapt, my spring carrying me effortlessly. Edward's face hardened as he threw Bella back, turning to intercept me mid-spring. With a grunt, he threw me back smashing me through the piano, as Bella's scent doubled, her arm now sliced open. _

_Emmett caught me in a bear hug, dragging me toward the door. I struggled, the only thing on my mind getting to the blood. Faintly, I heard the snarls and snaps, the gnashing of teeth that I knew to be my own. Bella's terror, now mingling with confusion washed over me, fueling the need. _

"_Let me go!" I growled, struggling. Emmett dropped me to my feet, still maintaining his grip on me._

"_Look at me, Jasper." He hissed in reply, anger surging. I spun to face him, still enraged. When I faced him however, my anger dropped suddenly, flattening into shame. My face was reflected in Emmett's eyes, the irises dark, much like my own must be. My face was contorted in a ravenous expression; eyes shining, lips curled back, a snarl still falling from my lips. _

_Emmett shook me violently, his expression grim. "Jasper. Calm the fuck down." I stopped fighting his grip, shame still flooding me._

"_God. What have I done?" I whispered. "What have I become?" Emmett loosened his hold, and I dropped to my knees, stunned._

_I had been so close to ripping out her throat, to spilling her blood, to destroying all the progress I had worked toward. All because of a stupid paper cut. I felt like scum. No, I felt worse than scum; I felt like the lowest of my kind, unable to control the thirst I was working so hard to tame._

_My eyes burned as venom pooled, although I knew tears would never be shed. I took a shaky, unnecessary breath, working to choke back my sobs._

_Emmett sat with a heavy thump, patting me on the shoulder._

"_Leave." I mumbled, shrugging off his comforting hand. Confusion; Emmett wanted to know why I wanted him to leave._

"_I want to be alone right now." I said, in reply to his emotions. Emmett was silent, his mood unchanging. Finally, he rose, patting me on the shoulder again.  
"Ok man." I stared at my hands, as Emmett's lumbering footfalls faded away._

_***_

"_Jazzy?" Apprehension, sadness, filled Alice's voice. The last person I wanted to talk to. She thought so highly of me, when I was nothing more than the monster our nature created us to be. Holding true to form, I suppose. _

"_Alice, please, just leave. I need to be alone right now." I said softly, feeling defeated. _

_She kneeled to hug me what she clearly thought was a comforting manner. I shook her off, frustrated, and she stepped back, hurt. "Jasper, please, just calm down. You didn't mean to. Edward knows that. We all do. Stop beating yourself up over this."_

_I rose to my feet, feeling heavy as the night's events wore on my conscience. "Look Alice you don't understand." I said guiltily. "But Jasper-"her voice rising as she looked at me pleadingly. _

"_Look Alice! Don't you get it? I'm a monster, a disgusting, foul, bloodthirsty, filthy, FUCKING MONSTER!" I screamed as rage flaring up as my voice ripped through two octaves, as I cut her off. She shrank back, her gaze dropping to her feet, unhappiness radiating from her form._

"_I'm so sorry, Alice." My voice cracking as I tried to apologize. She waved me off, her breathing shallow. _

"_It's okay Jasper, I understand." Speaking softly as she reached out for me, her hands beckoning, offering comfort. I willingly went to her this time, allowing myself to relax in her hold, her sweet scent flooding my senses. The sweetness was a trigger; memories from earlier, the scent of Bella's blood coming to mind. I stiffened the waves of hunger and bloodlust flooded my being._

"_I, however, don't understand." The voice was hard beneath the velvet tone. Alice stiffened as well, her eyes clouding._

"_I thought you were at Bella's." I whispered, my voice rough. _

"_I left once she fell asleep." Edward snapped, still approaching._

"_Edward, stop it. Don't do anything stupid." Alice whispered, her eyes flickering between Edward and me._

_Edward ignored Alice, stepping closer, his expression set, eyes blazing with rage._

"_We. Hunted. Before. The. Party." Edward growled, enunciating each word, his teeth clenched. "We hunted, so something like this wouldn't happen. What the hell, Jasper?" Edward said, clenching his hands into fists._

_I held up my hands, ashamed." I don't know, ok? I hunted, just like everyone else did; hell, I killed more than I normally would have, just in case."_

"_You didn't hunt enough." Edward hissed, his amber eyes darkening, his expression one of disgust._

"_I warned you over and over again, didn't I, Jasper?" He continued, circling me and Alice, his wrath twisting about us. "I told you over, and over again, to make sure you hunted enough, so we wouldn't have any problems. I wanted this birthday to be special for Bella; this may be her last. And you ruined it. Nice going, Jasper." His words were laced with sarcasm, as was his mood._

"_Back off, Edward." Alice hissed, tightening her hold on me. "He didn't do it on purpose."_

_Edward scoffed, stopping directly in front of us._

"_He didn't do it on purpose. Right. And that's why the only thing on his mind was getting to Bella, and her blood. It's still on his mind." Edward pointed out, staring at me._

"_I'm sorry, man. I didn't do it on purpose, ok? You think I would willingly kill Bella, knowing how you feel about her, if I had any control over it?" I looked up, meeting Edward's hard stare._

'_Besides, you know I wasn't the only one thinking about her blood. You were as well,' I added silently, knowing Edward would pick up on the thought. His shoulders tensed in response, anger flaring. I stood my ground, situating myself in front of Alice as he shook his head._

_Alice closed her eyes, searching for Edward's reaction, waiting for him to make a decision._

_Abruptly, the anger drained, leaving Edward shaking, distressed. He ran his fingers through his mess of bronze hair, and looked up. His eyes were still a dark ocher, the purple-black of bruises associated with thirst making the lightest shadows under his eyes. To anyone else, they wouldn't have been noticeable for several hours, but vampire sight caught them immediately._

"_God, I can't believe that I put her in so much danger" whispered Edward, slumping to the wet floor of the forest, his eyes closed, not breathing. "I should've never brought her into our lives. I knew it was too dangerous. We aren't ready."_

"_We'll never be ready." I murmured in reply. My mouth still watered at the thought of the blood, the venom coating my teeth. I licked it away, creating a temporary numbness on my tongue. "Edward."_

_He looked up, into my eyes. I bowed my head, knowing he would read my thoughts._

"_You…you think we should leave?" Edward choked out and Alice gave a little cry of alarm._

"_Jasper! We can't leave Bella, not now!" Alice moaned, tugging my arm gently._

"_It's not my decision, in the end. It's Edward's. I'm just merely giving him a suggestion." I murmured, trying to comfort her._

"_Look Edward, us staying here will only put her in more danger." I continued, trying to be reasonable._

"_And leaving will put her in even more danger!" Alice yelled, becoming agitated._

"_Not as much as us staying here." I told Alice, looking directly at Edward. 'We're too dangerous to be around, too unpredictable,' I thought toward him._

"_And besides." I persisted, looking directly at Edward "If that bitch Victoria comes crawling back here, seeking revenge like Alice has been seeing, those mutts will take care of her."_

"_We're going to depend on a couple of inexperienced DOGS to keep her safe?" Alice screamed, her eyes bulging, frustration and anger radiating off her in waves._

"_Look Alice." I turned around to face her, holding her small, delicate hands as I spoke to her." I know you feel strongly about her and want her to be safe, but this is the only way to do so." I put my hand on her pale cheek as I looked directly in her dark amber eyes. "We can't risk her life again, and most importantly we can't risk exposing ourselves. You know the consequences that would follow."_

_My body tensed as I thought about them. The Volturi. They would surely tear us to shreds, if word got out. A human, knowing of our kind, dating one of us? It was unheard of. And Bella… _

_Edward moaned as I imagined the punishment Aro, Caius, and Marcus would have for us, for Bella. Jane's face, Alec, Felix. They flickered through my mind like a slideshow. He buried his head in his hands; his emotions a swirling current of anguish, anger, and fear._

"_I need to leave." He whispered, not lifting his face from his hands. Alice stood, her eyes blazing._

"_You're just going to leave Bella, open to attack without even telling her where we're going?" She hissed. Edward shook his head slowly, lifting it from the cradle his hands created._

"_Alice, I need to think things through. Jasper, maybe you should take a few days to yourself, if you need them." Edward murmured, continuing his circling._

"_Take Alice with you. I don't need her going to Bella about this." Edward continued._

_I nodded, wordlessly. Climbing to my feet, I drew her in, encircling her in my arms._

"_I will." I promised, and Edward stood as well._

"_No, you're not!" Alice shrieked, trying to break free. I lifted her from the ground, retightening my grip. She growled, kicking at me. _

"_Alice." Edward's voice was icy; she glared at him, still trying to free herself._

"_What?" She snarled, freeing her arms so they stuck up above mine. She reached out toward him, her intentions of ripping him to shreds clear._

"_Look, whether or not you want to stay doesn't matter." Edward hissed in a hard tone, glaring at her. I returned the glare over her shoulder. "If I say we leave, we leave."_

"_You don't control what the rest of us do!"Alice screamed, redoubling her efforts to get free. "Jasper, if you don't put me down, I will rip your arms off, and make sure Carlisle doesn't put them back."_

"_Calm down, Alice." I sent a wave of calmness toward her, and slumped, defeated._

"_I hate it when you do that." She said, relaxed. _

"_I love you too." I kissed her head, and Edward rolled his eyes._

"_Like I was saying, I can't make you, but Carlisle can. If I think it's what's best for the family, he won't disagree." Edward said, satisfied with his logic._

_Alice snarled, breaking through the layer of calm._

"_You might want to go," Alice spat, venom lacing her voice. "But Jasper and I will be staying right here, isn't that right?" She looked over her shoulder for confirmation, her amber eyes hopeful._

"_Uh, Alice…" I looked away, and when I looked back, her mouth was hanging open, her expression one of fury. Betrayal colored her mood a heavy gray._

"_How could you do this to me Jasper? I thought you loved me?" shrieked Alice as she looked at me, her eyes pooling with venom._

"_I do Alice, more than anything, that's why I won't risk putting you in danger." I said in a low voice, the faces of the Volturi flashed in my head once more, my body tensing, gripping Alice closer to me._

"_Um, Jazzy? You're crushing me." Alice said, her voice strangled as she squirmed in my grip._

"_Shit! Sorry!" I immediately let go, and Alice dropped to her feet, light as a cat. I kissed her head, and she squeezed my arm gently in return. _

"_I'm going back to Bella's, in case she wakes up." Edward said, lifting his hand in goodbye. _

_Edward nodded to me, before turning into the forest, disappearing swiftly._

"_EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN!" Alice screamed, as her voice ripping through several octaves, and still tinkling, trilling. "If you don't come back, so help me god, I am going to break your piano to pieces and burn it!"_

"_Look Alice." I said as I faced her, taking her hands and looking into her eyes. "I know you don't want to leave, but you know we'd have to sooner or later. You know that as well as I do." Her gaze dropped as I said those words, waves of sadness radiating from her small body._

"_We don't have to leave." Alice whispered. "Today was just a little slip-up; we can get past that, right?" Her face was hopeful._

_I shook my head, and her facial expression fell. "It's not just today. It's everything. We've been here too long, not aging, staying the same. People are getting suspicious." Alice gave a little sigh, and slumped against my chest._

"_Don't worry though, Alice. It's all up to Edward, in the end." I murmured, placing a hand under her chin, and tenderly tilting her face upward. I kissed her forehead, sending a wave of happiness to brighten her melancholy mood._

"_I suppose you're right. We'll just have to wait and hope Edward makes the right choice, to stay." Alice whispered, and kissing her again, his time on her lips, I scooped her into my arms, preparing to carry her back to the house._

_And I silently disagreed with Alice the entire time, hoping Edward would want to leave as soon as possible after his return._

_***_

_We were gathered around the table for a family meeting. Carlisle had taken Edward's place at the end of the right side of the table, leaving his spot to Edward. The emotions of the family were a mix of curiosity, frustration, and anger. I'm sure the anger was coming from Alice, who was slumped in her chair, her arms crossed, throwing furious glances at Edward, who stood at the head of the table, his face impassive, not revealing his true emotions. He was truly an emotional wonder, throwing off sadness, disgust, and an unsure vibe._

"_Edward, go ahead." Carlisle said, smiling at Edward, but his smile was strained, his emotions flickering between curiosity and nervousness._

"_Thanks, Carlisle." Edward's face was still void of expression. "In light of recent events, I've decided that it would be best for us to leave Forks." Edward's statement was quiet, but the response was anything but._

"_What the hell, Edward?" Rosalie screamed, uncrossing her legs, and stamping a booted foot on the floor in agitation. "I don't want to move to another school, we're almost done here!" Emmett growled his agreement, pounding his fist on the table, it shook, the strong oak shivering under his blow._

"_Damn it, man. Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you have to make the rest of us depressed as well." Emmett snarled, digging his fingers into the wood. I saw Esme flinch._

"_Emmett, Rosalie, don't talk to Edward like that." She admonished gently, her kind eyes sad._

"_Are you sure, Edward?" Her voice was calm, although she was saddened. Edward nodded, setting off another round of screaming and insults from Rosalie and Emmett._

_I glanced at Alice, who had been quiet through this all; she was seething. Her mood had surpassed anger, she was livid. She stared at Edward blankly, but I could imagine she was screaming death threats at Edward in her head._

"_Edward, why?" She asked, quietly, her voice carrying over the din._

"_Because it's not safe for Bella. We're bad for her." Edward said, and Rosalie hissed._

"_I don't like that human you're so fond of, Edward, but you're going to uproot all of us, just because Jasper made one slip in his control?" She snapped, throwing a contemptuous glare at me. I flinched, remembering the attack, the scent of blood still tangible even through the bleach and various cleaning products. Edward shot a glare at me himself._

"_And don't pretend you didn't want to drain her either, Edward. You too, Rosalie. You're no saints." Alice added her voice spiteful._

"_There's no other choice, Rosalie." Edward state simply, placing his hands on the table._

"_You can just avoid her, man." Emmett suggested, throwing an arm over Rosalie's shoulder, sent a dirty look toward Edward to match hers._

"_You know that won't happen, Emmett. She's friends with us; we just can't 'avoid' her." Edward made air quotes, rolling his eyes. "As long as we're in Forks, she will be around us. Leaving is the only solution."_

_Alice, who had lapsed back into silence, scooted her chair back an inch, her expression still blank, still angry beyond all belief. Bracing her hands on the arms of the chair, she pushed herself off, springing at Edward, who flinched toward the wall, turning his back to her._

_With a snarl, she landed on him, sending them both flying into the china cabinet, which rocked before crashing to the floor. Edward hissed as Alice wrapped her delicate hands around his throat. Edward threw himself into the wall where the cabinet had been, trying to dislodge Alice. She shrieked, as her back went through the wall, but held her grip._

_Edward continued throwing himself against walls, creating more and more holes, as Alice's snarls and hisses increased in volume._

_Less than eight seconds had passed, and the wall which had been behind Edward was nearly demolished; he had been moving at vampire speed._

"_Shit!" I swore, leaping to my feet, and crashing into the chaos that was Alice and Edward, a mass of tangled limbs as my tackle brought them to the ground._

_I tugged at Alice's waist, trying to disengage her from Edward, she snarled in response, and continued her attempts to throttle him. Edward's emotions were registering nothing but surprise, confusion, and just the vaguest hint of amusement. _

_Alice hissed at me, anger flooding me as I tried to pull her off. "Let me go!" _

_Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme were gawking, also surprised. Emmett was the first one to speak, or rather, make any sound. He chuckled throatily, which quickly developed into a hearty laugh as he pounded the table, relishing the image of me attempting to pry this tiny vampire from Edward. I growled at him, not amused, as Alice tightened her grip around Edward, screaming._

"_Why? Why do you have to constantly play the 'Oh, woe is I, I'm a monster, I can't ever love or be happy' bit?" Alice yelled, her screams slowly dissolving into sobs._

"_ENOUGH!" Carlisle bellowed, and Alice choked down her scream-sobs, and Emmett held in his laughs. Carlisle was now standing, stalking around the edge of the table. Brushing me aside, he gripped Alice firmly by the waist, and disengaged her from Edward. Setting her down within my reach, he nodded to me, and I bundled her into my grasp, sending out waves of calm to the room._

_Edward stood, with Carlisle's assistance, brushing china fragments from his hair. He glanced down at what was left of the shelf. "Sorry, Esme. I can clean that up, and replace it." Esme flapped her hand, a strained smile on her face._

"_It's quite alright Edward, no need to apologize." She lied, her emotions stressed; the plates had been passed down to her from her mother, and she had stolen them from the house of her abusive ex-husband sometime after her change. It had been a sheer stroke of luck that he hadn't smashed them to bits when he discovered she had disappeared._

_Carlisle glanced at us, his face set. Setting a hand on Edward's arm, he looked each one of us in the eye, making sure he had our undivided attention._

"_If this is the decision Edward wants, then we will respect it. Get packing, we're leaving soon." Carlisle said, his voice full of authority. Moaning and groaning, Rosalie and Emmett stood and headed toward their rooms._

"_Now then." Carlisle turned to Edward, and then to Alice, who was still wrapped in my arms, her expression dejected. _

"_See, Alice? If we can't even control our anger around each other, family that's been together for at least fifty years, how can we control ourselves around Bella?" Edward said, running a hand through his bronze hair._

_Alice stared at her feet, sadness emanating from her. Sighing, I sent happiness toward her, trying to cheer her._

"_I just don't want to leave." Alice sighed, her words barely above a whisper. "I'm happy here; the weather is perfect for us to live here, and I finally have a friend outside the family." She squirmed in my grasp, turning to face me and embrace me. I let her hug me, wrapping my arms around her as well._

_Carlisle set a hand on my shoulder, patting it._

"_You two need to pack, we leave tomorrow afternoon after Edward says his goodbyes." Carlisle said, somberly. Alice looked over her should at Edward._

"_No, Alice." Edward said, his eyes meeting mine. He motioned toward the stairs with his head, as Alice's shoulders heaved with silent dry sobs._

_I had caused this. My inability to control myself had led us to this point, where we were packing to leave, where we fought and accused each other of being monsters, this point that left me leading my wife, my love, trying to comfort her tears. _

'_I'm sorry man.' I thought, knowing Edward would catch it._

_I was more than halfway up the flight of stairs with Alice, before he responded. _

"_It's ok, Jasper." _

_***_

"_Don't you get it Bella? I don't love you" I could feel their pain, magnified at the lie, causing me to flinch. I was about a hundred feet away and yet every word came in as clear as a bell._

"_No, Edward, don't do this. Please" I heard Bella's voice, intense pain filling every syllable as she choked out pleadingly to Edward. _

_I felt waves of anguish and fear radiating from their direction. It was almost too much to bear. My chest felt tight as I remembered Alice's face filled with sadness and pain._

"_Goodbye, Bella." Edward whispered. _

_Silence. There was nothing but silence and pain, endless pain from the edge of the trail. Then a little sob and the sound of clumsy footsteps, heavy breathing._

"_Wait!" Bella cried out, and the sobbing increased. I leaned back against the tree, resting my head against the trunk. Closing my eyes, I looked skyward, wishing I could send a wave of calmness, happiness, anything toward her. Just so she wasn't hurting._

"_Take care of yourself." Edward's parting words were just a whisper on the wind._

_I heard Bella stumbling after them, her emotions frantic and confused. Shit. I ran my hands through my hair, knowing that my lack of control was what made Edward's decision and was coughing Bella so much pain._

_Edward walked by, moving at a fast human speed. Pushing off the tree, I followed behind him quietly, tucking my hands into my pockets. Edward's emotions were a mixture of pain and sadness; I imagined it was taking all he had not to run back, and take Bella in his arms._

_Ignoring me, Edward kept walking his eyes looking straight into the forest. "Edward?" I asked cautiously walking a feet behind him._

"_I need to be alone Jasper," he replied, his voice a distant whisper._

"_I'm sorry for all this Edward, I really am." I answered; my mind recounted the events that lead up to all this, the blood, her sweet blood. Her blood still haunted my memories._

_Edward's velvet voice broke through my trance like state. "It's okay Jasper. This isn't your fault." The lie evident through his voice "You didn't mean for any of this to happen."_

"_Edward." I said, speeding up to catch up with him. He increased his speed._

"_Look, I know this isn't easy." I said, walking swiftly. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing Ali-"_

"_What could you possibly know about any of this?" Edward screamed as he spun around to face me "I love her, and now because of you I have to lose her. All because you couldn't control yourself for just one damn night." Hate laced every word he spoke, his voice filled with anger and despair. _

_I stood there staring into Edward's eyes, a darkening gold; they would soon be pitch black. The air felt heavy around us, his emotions crashing into me like violent waves. It was almost too much to bear_

"_You're right" I muttered after what seemed like an eternity, my gaze dropping._

"_I'm sorry Jasper. I didn't mean to-"Edward started to apologize, his tone sincere, his mood somber._

"_No Edward, you're right, this is all my fault" I cut him off, my voice cold, mocking. "I'm nothing more than a monster." _

_I stared at Edward for a long time, while he stared down at his feet._

"_Where's everyone going, now?" He whispered, seeking a subject change, a relief from the tension. I gave it to him, sending a wave of calmness at him._

"_Well," I tucked my back into my pockets, rocking back on my heels. "Rose and Emmett are heading to Africa for awhile. Emmett wants to agitate the elephants." I snickered, and Edward gave me a small grin._

"_What about you and Alice?" Edward asked, and I exhaled._

"_We're not sure yet. Alice wants to go to Paris; she thinks some retail therapy will help to…distract her." I said cautiously, and Edward's smile disappeared. He asked; no, demanded, that none of us contact Bella, and that Alice not go looking for her future._

"_But we might just travel, see the world. Who knows, maybe we'll have another wedding?" I continued, getting back on topic. _

_Edward smirked, then started walking again, this time at a slower pace._

"_I'm going to go hunt down Victoria." Edward said suddenly, after we had been walking in companionable silence for about ten minutes. _

"_What?" my voice surprised. He'd caught me off guard._

"_She won't stop until she kills Bella. I can't let that happen." His tone serious, determined._

"_Edward you can't take her on, you're not experienced enough. She'll tear you to shreds." I argued, my tone urgent, yet amused, wondering what the outcome would be._

"_I'll take that chance." Edward replied, his voice slightly amused. He was clearly reading my thoughts. "Besides" his voice confident "I have my advantage over her." A smirk was forming on the side of his mouth as he tapped the side of his head; his ability gave him a clear edge over her. _

"_Well Edward, I can't stop you." I smirked back, confident he'd take care of her given to chance. "Just be careful, and if you need any help, don't hesitate to give me a call. You know I wouldn't mind knocking her around a few times"_

"_I won't need it 'Jazzy' "Edward chuckled, forming air quotes as he said it, a smile spread across his face. He knew I hated that nickname._

"_Keep that up and I'll have to knock you around a couple of times 'Eddie,' " returning the air quotes, my grin matching his._

_I stepped forward, socking him gently on the shoulder._

"_Take care of yourself, man. Don't end up as a pile of ashes." I said, all joking gone. Edward nodded, swinging an arm over my shoulder. He squeezed it tightly, before stepping back._

"_I will. Take care of Alice." Edward said a sad smile on his face._

_And then, without another word, he was gone._

_I stood under the trees for a very long time, listening to the shouts emanating from the areas closer to town; the search for Bella was out in full force._

_***_

_Alice sat in the middle of the luxurious king-sized bed in the middle of our hotel room, watching my movements, as I paced back and forth. _

"_I'm leaving Alice" I said, my voice cold to my own ears; I could only wonder how it sounded to her. _

"_Why, Jazzy?" She whispered, toying with the sheet draped across her lap, sadness radiating her._

"_Don't call me that." I snapped, stopping near the window. It was night, and the view from our hotel room was perfect; the Eiffel tower in all its lighted glory was directly ahead. Humans swarmed the city, celebrating New Year's Eve, it was five minutes to midnight in France._

"_Why?" She asked again, and I turned, struggling to keep calm._

"_It's in both our best interests." I explained, as calmly as I could. She needed love and affection, and I was too preoccupied to give it to her._

"_This is all because of what happened that night, isn't it." Her words were not a question, but a statement._

"_It's not because of that." I lied immediately, and she knew it._

"_Jasper, don't lie to me." Alice sighed, frustrated. "You're still hung up on that night, you're too caught up in believing you're a monster, when you're not."_

_Alice knew me all too well. I couldn't get it out of my mind. The scent of her blood, the crimson drops spilling onto the pure white of the carpet. It was…maddening. I would find myself thinking about it, wishing for it, wanting it._

_And then I would become sickened with myself when I realized what I had been doing. I knew it was wrong, that I shouldn't have so much desire for her blood. But I just didn't care anymore. Four months had been too long, living with the knowledge that Bella's sweet blood was still flowing, unguarded, and I could take it at any moment._

_And so I had chosen my path; I had chosen the action that was rightfully mine to choose because of my nature._

_I would have her blood._

_Some part of me knew Alice must have seen something of my decision, and I had acted quickly to counteract it; the wolves were running rampant around La Push, a scouting trip in that direction during a trip to Seattle during the Christmas season had told me that much._

_The scent of dog hung around the Swan's residence, tainting the air, but not enough to dampen out the beautiful aroma. When I had reunited with Alice at the hotel that evening, bearing several shopping bags of my own as a cover, her face was screwed up in slight agony. She had been ignoring Edward's orders, and looked for Bella's future from time to time, and the wolves involvement had effectively canceled it out._

_I was grateful; as much as I hated those foul mutts, their existence would only help me to achieve my goal. As long as I was careful, and only hunted animals until I took the opportunity to claim Bella, they would suspect nothing, because Bella would immediately vouch for me, the events of her birthday notwithstanding. And if I drew her out of Washington when I decide to make my attack, it wouldn't void the treaty, and if my family ever decided to return, they could do so, without incident._

"_What are you planning, Jasper?" Alice's shrill voice had brought me from my reverie, I knew the wolves were still clouding her visions, and cloaking my decisions._

" _It's nothing important." I lied easily, knowing she still doubted me._

"_Jasper, don't fucking lie to me." She hissed in anger, holding her fingers to her temples. "Your future disappeared; you're planning something dangerous and stupid."_

_I clenched my fists, as her anger surged over me._

"_Stop it, Alice. Just stay out of my future." I said in return, tugging the slim gold band from my finger. Crossing to the bed swiftly, I perched on the edge, ignoring her wary glance._

_I reached for her hand, pulling it from her temple. Gently, I laid the ring in her fingers, and curled her palm over it. Immediately, her tawny eyes took on the shine of venom coating them, of tears that would never be shed._

"_This, whatever you're planning on doing, is for real, isn't it?" Alice whispered, nearly inaudible. I nodded, kissing the back of her hand. Maybe, once all this was said and done, once I had satisfied this…obsession, and had climbed back onto the band wagon, so to speak, I could return._

_But not until then, and I didn't want to give her any false hope._

"_I love you, Alice." I whispered, placing a hand under her chin, and giving her the lightest kiss on the lips, before standing, and leaving, without another word. There was nothing else to say._

_As I closed the door, the beginning of her tearless sobs reached my ears, her sadness with it. Hunching my shoulders, I headed down the hallway, formulating my plan. If I took a plane, I could easily be in Seattle within nine to ten hours, which would be nine a.m. here, but barely midnight in Washington. Depending on the rental car, and if my money could get me onto a plane at the earliest possible convenience, I could be there by 3 a.m. Yes, I think that would work._

_Smirking, I took off down the hallway, my ears catching the explosion of fireworks, and the screams of happy partygoers. Happy New Year, indeed. _

_***_

"No!" The scream jerked me back, reminding me where I was. I wasn't at home, I wasn't in the forest, I wasn't in Paris. I was waiting in a tree outside of Bella's house, and it was time for action.

I wasn't sure if I could earn Bella's trust, and possible friendship, but for all this to be possible, I needed to try.

I needed to control myself. Hunting relentlessly would help somewhat, but once her scent was in the air, I could make no promises.

The barest traces of her delectable scent filtered through the crack at the bottom of her window sill, flooding my senses. I steeled my nerves, trying to ignore the scent and control the urge to burst through her wooden bedroom wall. Killing her would be all too easy at this point.

With each passing second, her scent became more bearable as I watched her move about her room, changing her sheets. I knew it would increase tenfold once I was inside, near her. But if I kept the window open, and took the shallowest breaths possible, I was fairly sure I could keep the monster satisfied. Patience was the name of the game; waiting made it all worthwhile.

I smirked when Bella's heart rate increased when the flickering shadows caught her eyes. The muffled thump of her sheets hitting the wall caused me to snicker outright, as the pace faded to normal, and she continued to make her bed, her emotions flickering between anger, confusion, and sadness.

The waiting had gone on too long. I pushed off from the tree, landing on her windowsill soundlessly. Crouching, I adjusted myself so I was gripping it adequately, knowing I wouln't have to wait too much longer.

The rapid increase in Bella's heartbeat and the subsequent flood of surprise told me my wait was up.

As she cautiously slid the window open, I took my final gasp of the nearly untainted air, and steeled my nerves. Grinning at her prone form, the scent crashed against me like a ton of bricks.

"Hello, Bella." I whispered, modulating my tone so it was low and calm, primed to dazzle and draw her in.

It was time.

**J's A/N: Sorry for taking so long. Having some technological issues, namely the fact that my computer charger is missing, so the time I can write is limited. In any case, here's the long-awaited first chapter of Una Canzone. **

**If you were looking for a JxB love story, you can stop right here, because this is most definitely not one. **

**Writing this has taken a lot of time, because there was timeline issues, and the fact that Jasper simply didn't have a personality. As far as Meyer writes it, Jasper is simply there as a catalyst for the events in NM, to train them against newborns in Eclipse, and to accompany Alice in BD. He doesn't really have much character besides the fact he's quiet, slightly distant from Bella, and was pretty much a cold-blooded murderer during his days with Maria. So, we had to develop the character, and work on his motivation…it was a lot harder than it looks.**

**But I hope 18 pages is more than enough of an apology for the wait. Enjoy =).**


	3. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight-related, except for this mess of a plot. And even then it's not mine, J's just sharing.**

_His little whispers//"Love me, love me."// That's all I ask for. "//Love me, love me."//_

_***_

"_Edward…don't!" I wailed, crumpling to the ground as he stood over me, his normally warm, butterscotch eyes now darkened to an amber shade. Edward crouched, until we were level, his face inches from mine._

"_Bella. I don't want you. I never wanted you. Quit deluding yourself to believe that I did, and stop this foolishness." Edward murmured his velvet voice low. He stood, and walked around my body, leaving, without a backward glance. _

"_Edward!" I screamed, scrambling to my feet, and taking off after him, desperate to catch him, to persuade him to stay. I ran, stumbling over tree roots, occasionally skidding on wet pine needles. Finally, my clumsiness caught up with me, as my foot caught a rather large, raised tree root._

_A scream tore from my throat as I flew forward, and toward the ground. I closed my eyes, waiting for the impact which never came. Gingerly, I opened them, expecting to find Edward holding me, exasperated by my klutziness. _

_Instead, I found myself being suspended by absolutely nothing. I was hovering an inch or two from the ground._

"_What the…" before I could finish vocalizing my surprise, whatever force at work became bored with me, and relinquished authority back to gravity, and I fell the two inches, landing with an ungainly thud. Before I could move, a rough hand grasped my jacket collar, and I was thrown._

_I was sailing through the air, shocked into silence as my view was nothing but green grass below, and stormy gray skies on all four sides. I looked down, just in time to see a familiar head of flaming red hair, and crimson eyes waiting, arms outstretched, as I fell. She smiled, exposing perfect teeth still coated with the blood of her previous victim._

"_Bella…" The voice was not the sweet tinkling, reminiscent of bubble gum and little girls I remembered. Instead, it was a low, guttural growl, rough and angry._

_I screamed as I fell into her arms._

~*~

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I cried, springing into a sitting position, kicking in terror.

I looked around, trying to catch my breath, trying to calm the racing in my chest that was my heart. My blankets were a tangled mess around my legs, and the sheet beneath me was damp with sweat. Groaning, I flopped back, willing myself to calm down. I glanced at my alarm clock, the numbers glowing red in the darkness. 2:34. I had only been asleep for an hour that time.

Ever since that day when _he _left me, I had been waking up routinely during the night, shocked into brief moments of lucidity. Other than these night terrors, I was…empty.

I was alive, but barely. What is a life if you're just going through the motions? What is life if you only eat, sleep, and breathe because it's what society considers to be the norm?

What is life if the only one you've ever loved had been lying to you? If the only one you wanted to be with simply did not want you anymore?

It's not a life. It's a shell of a life, an empty, hollow, meaningless thing.

I was lost without Edward, and I hated myself for it. I never wanted to turn into the girl who couldn't function without her boyfriend, but I had. He was gone, and I didn't know what to do with myself.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, staring disinterestedly at the slender twigs posing as my wrists; since he left I just didn't care anymore. I didn't eat; I couldn't even begin to tell you how much weight I had lost, but it was upward of ten pounds so far. I rarely slept for fear of nightmares. I tried to keep myself awake, but I would eventually fall into a restless sleep, ending in the invariable replay of being left by him.

Charlie had been making subtle threats to send me back to Florida, to be with Renee, which should galvanize me into some sort of state more life-like than the one I functioned under during the day, right? It had the opposite effect. The thought of being away from Forks make me shake. What if Edward decided to come back, and I wasn't here? I knew I needed to get my shit together, I needed to at least attempt to act human, but I just couldn't.

What's the point of acting like something I didn't want to be anymore?

Shivering, I climbed from my bed attempting to be quiet, not wanting to wake Charlie…although I figured my screaming had already woken him. My feet tangled in the sheets, sending me crashing to the ground, with an "Oomph" of pain.

I paused, for the interruption in Charlie's snores. I heard nothing. Confused, I glanced at my clock, before remembering. It was New Year's Eve, or rather, now New Years day. Charlie would undoubtedly be out patrolling still. Shaking my head at my own stupidity, I picked myself up from the floor. Yanking the sweat-soaked sheet from the mattress, taking the matching one with it. Balling them up, I tossed them into the corner of my room, and padded gently to my door, and to the linen closet in the hallway. Grabbing a fresh set of sheets, I made my way back to my room. Gently closing the door, I turned.

My heart leapt, as the shadows flickered, the darkness deepening slightly. I froze, peering into the dark.

"Edward?" I whispered, focusing on that motion. No response. Mustering my courage, I threw the sheets at the shadow, knowing it would catch them.

The sheets fell in an untidy pile on my bed, the shadows still playing over the fabric. I glanced out the window, the _closed_ window, I realized, feeling stupid, and saw the tree branch wavering in patterns similar to the ones on the sheet. Swearing under my breath, I crossed to my bed, grabbing my sheets.

I dropped down to the old mattress, scooting toward the window. Frost had formed on the outside; a sure indicator that January was promising to be as cruel as it had always been, maybe even crueler. My warm breath collided with the icy pane, fogging it. Placing my forehead against it, I relished the chill; it momentarily calmed the aching in my head. Climbing off the bed, I turned on my bedside lamp. I quickly remade my bed, fluffing my pillows, and leaving the blankets turned down, ready for me to slip between them.

I climbed onto the bed, slipping my body under the sheets and blankets, curling into a ball, desperate to become warm. Once upon a time, I would have welcomed a chill, when it came from my angel…not anymore.

Sighing, I scooted inward, burying my face in the pillow next to mine, breathing deeply. If I tried hard enough, I could catch the barest trace of Edward's icy-sweet scent clinging to the pillow. I inhaled, the scent soothing me, much like a relaxing bath with lavender scented soaps.

God, I was pathetic. Why was I doing this to myself? Dreaming about him, trying to remember his scent, essentially torturing myself with memories. Disgusted, I threw the pillow across the room. It hit the door softly, rebounding to the floor. Stretching out on my back. I closed my eyes, willing myself to fall back asleep, preferably into dreamless sleep, if possible.

I snorted. Like that would ever happen. I was fairly sure I was up for the night. Scooting into a sitting position, my eyes flickered restlessly about my room, adjusting to the dark. Shadows stretched over the foot of my bed, the cold moonlight playing tricks on me again. I looked to the window, and froze.

A defined shape was peering into my window. Although it was too dark to make out any features, one stood out from the dark; a pair of bright gold irises, peering intently at me.

_Monster// How should I feel? //Creatures lie here// Looking through the windows// I will// Hear their voices// I'm a glass child// I am Hannah's regret._

Dani's A/N: Gah. This chapter sucked, and I'm sorry. I'm never precisely happy with my chapters, save the preface, and that wasn't even entirely mine. In any case, there wasn't much I could do with this chapter actually, because nothing big was occurring. In any case… the song, for anyone who is interested, and to avoid copyright infringement is "Monster", by Meg and Dia.

Remember, reviews are your friends that bring you the chapters faster =).

**Much love to everyone who reviewed and added us under story alerts =).**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

I swung my legs over the window sill, ducking my head in as well. Bella had settled down onto the bed, blinking rapidly. Her pulse was racing, flushing her skin cherry red. I gulped, swallowing down the venom welling up in my mouth at the sight of it; tonight would test my control, determine if I'd be able to resist leaping at her and draining her instantly. I took a deep breath, the air from the window mixing with her scent.

"Hello, Bella."I said, my voice low, calm. I didn't want to frighten her. Bella didn't respond; her mouth was still hanging open. Tonight would be interesting.

"So…" I continued, hoping she'd say something. "How are we doing?"

"Jasper." Bella whispered, scooting back unconsciously. Shit. I knew she'd be scared, but the fear she was emitting was affecting me more than I thought it would. I projected a bit of calmness toward her; no dice. She continued to scoot backward, until she was on the edge of the bed.

"Bella, watch out." I cautioned, leaning forward marginally.

"Jasper?" Bella asked again, scooting back. "Jas-"She was cut off by her gasp when she slipped off the edge of the bed, having scooted back too far. I darted forward, catching her smoothly before she was halfway down.

"Hello to you too." I whispered into her ear, setting her back onto the bed, before lowering myself to her mattress as well. She recoiled, and glanced out the window again. "Don't worry, I have no intentions of eating you." I added, suppressing a chuckle.

"Are you here alone? Did Alice come with you? What about…?" Bella trailed off, and a little jab of pain hit me.

"I'm here alone. No Alice, no Edward. No one else from the rest of the family, either." I said, and she winced; the flare of pain rose again, much more prominent at the sound of Edward's name.

"Oh…ok. I thought that maybe you guys had come back?" She whispered running a hand through her hair, strengthening her scent in the air. The moonlight from her window cast the barest light, but it was more than enough for my eyes. The night was beautiful; no rain, the heavy clouds slightly dispersing, which was unusual for Forks.

"Nope, just me." I replied, and she looked up, wary. I sent another wave of calmness at her, laying it on more thickly than I had previously, hoping she would respond. "Alice is planning on coming to visit shortly, I think. She misses you. " I lied, unsure of Alice's plan. I guessed she would, if there was any change in her vision.

"She can't miss me that much." Bella mumbled, more to herself, forgetting my ears would catch it.

"Why would you say that?" I asked. I bent slightly, and tugged off my shoes, setting them gently on the floor, before tucking my legs under me and turning to face her. "You don't mind, do you?" Bella shook her head, annoyance coating the air around her.

"She can't care too much, otherwise she could have at least taken the time to, oh, I don't know, maybe say goodbye in person?" Bella snapped, and I barely withheld a flinch. Her emotions had swiftly flowed from fear and sadness to hostility and anger quickly. I sensed many other emotions lying underneath; it was as if she had been bottling it up for months.

"It's not like that, Bella." I said, as she crossed her arms. "Alice wanted to say goodbye, but Edward-" Bella flinched . "Edward thought a clean break would be best." I finished, as her shoulders sagged.

"Oh." Her voice was tiny, her mood melancholy. Outside, the gentle pitter-patter of rain sounded against the roof, melting the snow on the ground.

"So, what have you been up to?" I asked conversationally. She didn't answer for a long minute, her emotions flickering like an old movie. Sadness, anger, resentment, grief. Bella had become a melting pot for emotions. Being in such close proximity made me uncomfortable, blood lust aside.

"Oh, you know. Just…living." Bella replied finally, chuckling darkly as she reclined against the headboard of her bed, propping pillows behind her back for support. The sarcasm was impossible to miss.

"That's it?" I replied, arching an eyebrow she wouldn't see in the dark. Bella ran a hand through her chestnut hair again, exposing the pale underside unintentionally. Venom coated my mouth again when my eyes caught the delicate blue vein pulsing beneath her fragile skin. What stood out more were the lines marring her wrists. Angry red slashes, pink, puckered skin of a healed cut. The small crescent, leftover from James' attack stood out more starkly than the rest of the scars. A long white scar, the result of Edward protecting her from me. Catching these, the craving for blood surfaced, screaming,

It rattled the bars of its cage. It laughed maliciously, it jabbed me with not-so-gentle fingers. It pointed out the obvious. _Look at those cuts, barely healed. How easy it would be to rip them open. Just run a fingernail over them, and end this. End it!_ The little voice shrieked the encouragement to me, and I closed my eyes, turning my head toward the still open window. The light scent of the rain, turning to slush, filled the air, dampening the monster. Not yet.

All this had happened in less than five seconds, the rise and subsequent squelching of the craving. Proud that my control would not be a hindrance for now, I turned to the window, inhaling deeply, locking the cage tightly.

"You know that's not it, Jasper." Bella sighed, peeking up at me through her eyelashes. She shifted, reaching for the lamp. My hand flashed out, catching her wrist before she had it fully off the bed.

"Wait. We should close your curtains." I said, stalling for time. "You don't want any of your neighbors looking over, and seeing two shapes in your room, now would you? What would they say?" I chided jokingly, tugging the curtains closed. The yellowed lace wouldn't hide my silhouette, but those seconds gave me the opportunity to swallow back the venom, and pray my eyes were at least a dark amber shade, instead of onyx.

Once Bella had turned on the light, I gently caught her wrist again, running my fingers over the scars, feeling the blood flowing under them. Bloodlust stirred restlessly, but was still well under control.

"Why are you cutting yourself?" I asked, my voice low, looking up at her through my eyelashes. She blinked, her breath hitching momentarily. She was well on her way to being 'dazzled.' "Why would you do this to yourself, Bella? Is it because he left you?"

She swallowed hard, turning away, but not before I caught the sheen of tears in her chocolate brown eyes. "I don't want to talk about it." Bella whispered, attempting to tug away from my grasp. I tightened my hold marginally.

"Tell me." I said, taking my chances and sending a sense of security at her. So far, she had thrown off all my attempts at stabilizing her mood. She sat forward, her shoulders tensing, still studying the wall.

"Jasper, don't make me talk about this." She sighed, and my lips twitched, barely containing a smirk. I was getting through to her. I wrapped her in calmness, and Bella's eyes slowly drifted up, catching mine. The details of her face, already perfectly visible by moonlight were even more defined with the light the lamp cast. Her eyes were ringed by dark circles, the product of a lack of sleep and nightmares. Her once slender figure had faded to scarily slim; her wrists were like twigs. I couldn't hold in my reaction.

"Oh, fuck." I hissed under my breath, feeling a momentary flash of remorse; my lack of control had caused this. Bella smirked, her lips twisting with mirth at my discomfort.

"Still want to know?" She asked, turning her other wrist over, revealing more cuts, some of them fresher than others; at least two looked as if they had only been created just hours before. She was angry again, bitter, ready to lash out.

I caught her chin in my free hand, turning her face to me. Her eyes widened slightly when I did so, a tiny gasp escaping her lips, as surprise broke through the anger. Then it was sealed over once more. "Tell me everything." I said, trying to keep my tone level, when all I was feeling was a vague disgust with myself, and for this plan. I released her chin, and her eyes stayed trained on me.

"After he…you guys left, I had a bit of a breakdown, to put it lightly." Bella began, tugging her wrist free, crossing her arms over her stomach. Her face was studiously blank, but a whirlwind of emotions was stirring, the sadness and hurt palpable.

"A breakdown?" I prompted, and Bella cocked her head, studying me. I kept my face impassive; how would this affect my plans? Would she be as willing to let me into her life?

"I shut down. They found me in the woods, curled up apparently. According to Charlie, who says according to Sam," I suppressed my growl at the mention of the dog. "I was more or less comatose, except for the fact I keep repeating the same phrase. '_He's gone._'" Bella's words were bitter, pained. I sent another wave of calmness at her, allowing her to continue.

"I didn't eat, rarely slept. The nightmares…"She shuddered, and I remembered the terror that had radiated from her, assaulting me even through her closed window. "It was a bad time for me. I refused to do anything, until Charlie threatened to send me back to Renee, to Jacksonville." Her face had become thoughtful.

"Part of me wanted to go, you know? To be with my mother, to let her sooth and comfort me the way I used to for her. But the bigger part of me reminded me that…well, it was best for me to stay, if anyone came looking for me." Both of us knew who she was referring to.

"And these?" I asked, pointing at her wrists. She stretched her arms out again, examining the cuts with a clinical indifference.

"These came after I almost went to Jacksonville." Bella said matter-of-factly, as if she was stating simple fact. "It reminds me of him, you know?" I nodded, although I didn't. She knew this, and explained.

"I remembered how much of a draw for him my blood was for him." She traced the fresher cuts, her expression guarded. "The smell makes me sick, but he found it…" She trailed off, at a loss for words.

"It was like fine wine to an alcoholic." I supplied, and she nodded.

"Exactly. Letting the blood out let the pain out. I know this sounds clichéd, but I've essentially become a zombie. I eat, I sleep, although not well, I go to school, go to work. I do everything that's expected of me, but that's it. I just wasn't into it."

Wrapping her arms closer to herself, she looked up at me.

"How are you standing this, Jasper?" Bella questioned, her voice calm, her emotions raging.

"How do I handle what?" I replied, feigning stupidity.

"How can you handle being in the same room with me, after what happened?" Bella asked, leaning forward. "Why are you here? Are you able to even be in the same room with me, able to hear me discuss my blood, smelling me, without wanting to rip me to shreds?" Bella's tone rose, her voice becoming shrill.

"Doesn't it drive you insane, all the emotions I'm bottling up? I know, I'm trying to keep up a happy façade, but it's just not working anymore." Bella continued, and I withheld the urge to flinch. Her emotions were a whirlpool of anger, sadness, fear, longing. "It's killing you, isn't it? I tried to contain it, oh how I have tried."

"I tried so fucking hard to hold it in, I really have." She glowered at me, as if I was to blame for her emotional breakdown.

"And why aren't you trying anymore?" I asked, wanting so badly to calm her; if it was possible for vampires to get headaches, I surely would have had one from the emotions she was throwing off.

"You." She said simply, staring at me.

"Me?" I questioned, and she nodded, slowly.

"I thought I was doing a decent job of holding them in. But then you show up, reminding me of _him_, of _Edward,_" She spat his name, as if it left a nasty taste in her mouth. "And then you start manipulating my emotions, and I just wasn't able to hold it back any longer. Are you happy, Jasper? Are you? I was holding myself together just fine, then you came back and dragged this out. Thanks." Bella spat, her chest heaving, as her anger peaked, then leveled out abruptly. Embarrassment.

"Oh, fuck." She groaned, rubbing her face with her hands. "Sorry Jasper, I didn't mean to start ranting. It's just that once I started getting it out, I couldn't stop. And it felt so good to let it go, to let it all out once I've been bottling it up." She slumped forward, tears escaping her eyes, and trickling down her cheeks.

I sat, unsure of what to do. Let her cry it out, or try to comfort her? Change her emotions?

I reached out, and gently patted her shoulder. "Come here, Bella." I sighed. Better to diffuse this situation before it went any further. With a sob, she lurched forward, and I pulled her into my lap. She shivered at the coolness of my skin through my clothes, and then let loose another torrent of tears.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, stroking her hair.

"F-f-for what?" Bella choked out, her face buried against my chest.

"This was all my fault. If I had controlled myself, this wouldn't have happened." I continued, and she shook her head.

"If I wasn't so clumsy, this wouldn't have happened. Honestly! Who cuts their finger opening a _present_?" She said, contempt for herself coloring her words.

"Only you?" I replied. She gave a watery chuckle, before another sob escaped.

After several minutes, Bella raised her head, and flinched, staring at my shirt.

"I ruined your shirt." She sniffled, her tone nasally. I glanced down, disinterested. The front of my shirt was tearstained, several of the spots appeared frozen from my body temperature.

"Eh, it's ok." I replied, sending her an easy grin, along with a small wave of comfort. She smiled slightly in return, and leaned back against me. As soon as she did, my smile faded. I didn't have many clothes with me; Alice tended to buy and pack all my clothing, and I hadn't brought any with me. Hopefully I had some left at the house.

Bella was quiet for a while, obviously lost in her thoughts, and I was content to let her stay that way. She was a nice girl and all, but sometimes, she tended to open her mouth, and insert her foot. Paired with the clumsiness and other human attributes, how did Edward tolerate her? Her blood was delectable, but that was all she had going for her so far.

"Where's Alice?" Bella asked, looking up at me again. "I don't want my best friend to show up, and think I'm making a move on her husband." Her lips twitched the first real sign of humor she had probably shown in a long time.

"We decided to visit separately." I lied once again, closing my eyes, barely containing the curse that wanted to slip from my lips. Alice would have seen that in a vision, and would consequently be making a visit sometime soon.

"Why?" I glanced down at her; her chocolate brown eyes were bloodshot, the dark circles under her eyes more pronounced. I glanced at the clock; 4:30. She couldn't stay up for much longer, could she?

"Alice and I decided some time off from each other would be best." I said, and she nodded her head in understanding.

"Was it because of the party?" Bella continued, and I rolled my eyes.

"Partially, but this has been a long time coming. " I replied, shortly. Bella snorted softly.

"I know, I'm asking too many questions, and you probably want me to shut up." She said, and I shook my head.

She was right, though. The girl knew how to talk.

"It's fine." I lied, pulling my lips up into a grin. "Any more questions?"

"Just one." Bella breathed, and I nodded. "Will you stay with me tonight?" Her emotions flared up with hope, and I stiffened. She pulled away, still in my lap, but no longer leaning against me.

"Did I say something wrong?" She said, and I lifted her chin, forcing her eyes to meet mine.

"Is it smart for me to stay?" I asked, and she looked down.

"I…he used to stay with me, and it made me sleep a little better." Bella sighed, and I bit my lip; this was a complication. One I had expected, but a complication nevertheless.

"Look at me." Bella's eyes met mine again, and widened slightly. I wasn't sure if it was the expression in them, or the color, but I knew I had her full attention. "I am not Edward. I came here to apologize, and maybe to spend a bit of time with you if you'll allow it. However, I _did not_ come here for you to treat me like an Edward substitute, is that clear?"

She nodded, still staring at me.

"I will stay if you want me to-" I continued, and she opened her mouth. I pressed a finger against her lip gently, and she closed her lips. "But you will remember that I am not going to mollycoddle you like Edward did, ok?" She nodded.

"I don't mind. I'd prefer it if you didn't." Bella said, both relief and disappointment coming from her.

"Come on, go to sleep." I said, lifting her from my lap effortlessly, and laying her against the bed. I pulled the blankets up over her, and turned off the light, before settling back onto the bed. She curled up without argument, making herself comfortable.

"Jaaaa-sper?" She said drawing my name out, and I sighed heavily, knowing it would get a laugh out of her. She didn't disappoint.

"Beeeella?" I drawled, doing the same, and she laughed again.

"Thanks for staying with me." The smile on her face was evident in her tone. I shifted, so I was reclining against the wall.

"No problem. Now go to bed." I said, with a smirk.

"Will do. G'night, Jasper." Bella said with a yawn,

"Good night." I replied, sending a wave of lethargy at her. Almost instantly, her breathing leveled off to a normal tempo, and a light snore escaped her lips.

Smirking, I slipped to my feet, and tugged on my shoes. I leaned over the bed and opened the window. I gratefully inhaled, the scent of the sleet drowning out Bella's blood. I leapt out of the window, landing in the shadows. The streets were empty, the partiers now home sleeping off their evening of alcohol and partying. The burnt smell of fireworks was acrid, still lingering in the air.

I would be staying all right, but I couldn't handle being in the same room with her for an extended period of time. Tucking my hands into my pockets, I strolled off around the corner of the house, intending on heading back to the house. With luck, Alice would have left some of my clothes there, and I could hunt. Grinning, I darted into the forest, in the direction of the house.

**Dani's A/N: Lookie! Chapter three =D! Well, sorry it took so long. We're lazy and unmotivated people. Maybe if you guys reviewed more often * ahem ahem* the chapters would be update faster…Kidding! It really makes J sad that you don't review, though. He doesn't want to continue; I have to beat him for ideas and put them in type. Sorry for the suckage, I write angst-filled, mopey Bella, no evil mastermind! Jasper =p. We'll update when we have time. Sorry if Bella and Jasper seem OOC. We can't say if Jasper's OOC or not, to tell you the truth, because he has no personality besides the fact he was in the war, scares humans, and pwns newborns. So, for our story, he's a bit sarcastic, doesn't take much bullshit, but can have a compassionate side…too bad Bella will actually never see it. As for Bella, and her emotional outburst, she's been in zombie mode, not feeling, and all this has been building up for a few months, and Jasper's appearance kinda pulled the pin on the grenade, and set her off. It's complicated…ok not really.**

**But in any case…review =D. Cause it makes J happy, and will get you your chapters that much faster *hint, hint* **

**Major thanks to everyone who has added the story to their alerts and favorites! We love you =D.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Not like you already didn't know that.**

I woke up, warm, and snuggled into my blankets. For once, I actually felt refreshed. Stretching lazily, I glanced at my alarm clock; 10:15. Well. That was the longest time I had slept without a nightmare. I wriggled back down into my blankets, reveling in the warmth.

Warmth? I sat bolt upright, my eyes sweeping the room; unless last night was my subconscious' cruel idea of a joke, I should have woken up at least slightly chilled, depending on Jasper's proximity. My heart throbbed uncomfortably in my chest, when my quick survey showed he wasn't in my room. My eyes immediately darted to the slightly open window.

"Jasper!" I cried, my voice cracking. "Where are you, Jasper?" Jasper was standing by the bed in less than two seconds, his expression pained, his ears trained to something my inferior human hearing couldn't catch yet. His eyes darted between me and the door.

"I had stepped out for a bit, to get some fresh clothes. Charlie's home and he heard you. Nice job. " He hissed, glancing at the door, and I swore under my breath. The walls were paper thin; of course he didn't miss that.

"What were you thinking?" Jasper whispered, climbing back onto the windowsill, shaking his head. "I hope you're a good liar." With that, he boosted himself out of the window and upward, effortlessly.

"What?" I asked, all I had time to say, before the pounding of heavy footsteps sounded on the floorboards, and my door flew open, with an almighty crash. I jumped, a scream tearing itself free from my lips. Charlie stood in the doorway, breathing heavily, his eyes wild. He was in pajama bottoms and an old t-shirt, his hair ruffled from sleep, although his eyes were alert. In his hand was his service pistol. I cringed. Charlie was living up to the overprotective father standards.

"Where is he?" Charlie yelled, sweeping the room with his gaze. I decided to play stupid.

"Who?" I asked innocently, yawning, as Charlie moved to my closet, throwing the door open, before aiming his pistol in. He kicked the piles of shoes at the bottom, apparently expecting a grunt of pain.

"What boy do you have in your room?" Charlie demanded, now checking under my bed. I barely held in a giggle; this was interesting.

"I don't have any boys in my room, Char-err, Dad. How would they get in?" I said, running my hair through my hands, casting a glance at my still-open window. Charlie's eyes followed mine. Oh, hell. Charlie checked out the window, looking down, then up. Finding no one there, he looked back at me, eyeing me with a suspicious expression.

"Weren't you yelling some guy's name? Jim, Jerry, something with a J?" Charlie asked, finally lowering his gun; I noticed the safety was still on, and I exhaled, relieved.

"No, I was talking in my sleep. About a badger." I supplied, when Charlie continued to stare, cocking his head to eye me warily. I mentally kicked myself? How stupid was that?

"A badger?" He asked, scratching his head. I could almost read his mind: _Has Bella gone off the deep end?_

"Yeah. I adopted him, and named him Casper." I supplied, knowing my fib was outlandish, and Charlie leaned forward slightly, sniffing.

"Did you get into my liquor cabinet last night, Bells?" He asked, suspicious warring with confusion and amusement. I resisted the urge to laugh.

"No. Care to check? I'm willing to take a Breathalyzer." I volunteered, and Charlie shook his head.

"Nah, I trust you enough not to throw wild parties or drink when I'm not home." I arched an eyebrow at his response.

"So, you trust me…why did you burst in, demanding to know what boy was in here, and if I had been in your alcohol?" I questioned, and Charlie's expression darkened momentarily, before a smile brightened his face again.

"True." He said, and I smirked.

"How was patrol?" I asked, and Charlie stretched, before fumbling awkwardly with the gun. He started to set it down on my desk, but thought twice, and scooped it back up. My lips twitched, at Charlie's actions, before I casually slid my arms back under the blanket.

"It was…interesting. I had a few drunken drivers, a streaker or two. "Charlie chortled, remembering his night.

"Just a normal night, eh?" I asked, and Charlie cocked his head, smiling.

"You're…cheerful this morning." Charlie said, and I shrugged. "What's gotten into you?"

"It's a new year, time to turn over a new leaf, you know?" I said. "I'll make us some breakfast after I shower."

"Ok, Bells. Happy New Year." He said, and I smiled in return.

"Same to you, Dad." I said, and he turned, heading out of my room, closing the door quietly. As soon as I heard his door click shut, I flopped back into my pillows, pulling my blankets up to my neck with a snicker. My curtains fluttered in a sudden breeze, and I glanced left. Jasper was straddling my desk chair, his elbow resting on the back.

"Smooth, Bella." He said, and I stood, heading over to my closet, fighting to keep my blush down, as I remembered last night. I had been an absolute idiot, and I felt like hell.

"Was that meant to be sarcastic?" I replied, trying to seem flippant, careful to keep my tone low, rifling through my wardrobe. Alice had forced me into a shopping trip back in July, for "school clothes", but had included a disgustingly large amount of winter clothing as well. Frowning, I flicked through my shirts, not spotting the simple long-sleeved shirt. I glanced down, and saw the crumpled emerald green fabric, lying atop my shoes. I plucked it from the pile, and shook it out. Besides its slightly wrinkled state, it was clean. I didn't care about the wrinkles, they would just smooth out once I put the shirt on. Tossing it on my bed, I selected a pair of dark-washed skinny jeans, before throwing a glance over my shoulder at Jasper.

"Well?" I asked, crossing over to my dresser, throwing the jeans on my bed as well.

"You're not fooling anyone, Bella." Jasper said, leaning back, and observing me. "You're regretting something." I swallowed hard, not trusting myself to have a repeat of the night before.

"It's nothing." I said, looking over my shoulder, as he opened his mouth. "Nothing." I repeated, firmly.

"Did you forget Charlie would be home?" He asked, arching an eyebrow. I dug through my underwear drawer, grabbing a bra and panties, along with a pair of toe socks. I held them as I normally would in, my hand, until Jasper made a low noise in his throat.

"Oh." I said, in a low voice, my face heating up, as I held them behind my back. Embarrassment welled up, and I glanced up shyly at Jasper, who was staring at the floor, his expression awkward. Why? Then it hit me. My embarrassment must have been affecting him as well. I fought back the urge to laugh, before deciding to change the subject.

"No, I didn't forget." I lied, answering his question. The heavy sound of footsteps reached my ears, and I froze, and Jasper tensed in his seat. The sound of Charlie's steps faded away, pounding down the stairs, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"If you didn't forget, then why did you decide it was wise to yell for me?" I walked over to the bed, and sat down, dropping my underwear on the bed.

"Knee-jerk reaction?" I replied, and Jasper snickered, and I instantly felt calm; the embarrassment now behind us.

"Fine enough answer for now. So, should I head out before Charlie decides to do another boy-sweep?" He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"I _think_ he trusts me. He thought I was drunk." I said, and Jasper sat back in the chair.

"I heard. Badgers named Casper? You were really stretching, weren't you?" His tone was serious, but the grin playing at the corner of his lips was anything but.

"Excuse _me_, but not everyone can have the mind of a vampire." I retorted, tossing my socks at him. He caught them effortlessly, and unrolled them.

"Honestly, Bella?" His tone was dry, as he held the unrolled socks in front of his face. It was striped in alternating neon green and pink, the toes fluorescent yellow.

"What?" I snapped, feeling my cheeks flood with blood. "They're warm!"

"Right then." He rolled them up, and threw them at me. My hand shot up two seconds too late, and they flew over my head, and bounced against the wall behind my head. Damn vampires and their super reflexes. Damn _me_, and my stupid human reflexes.

"You're just lucky they didn't go out the window." I hastily scooped my clothes up, and stood. "I'm going to go…erm…human minute. Or twenty." I said.

"And? Should I stay, should I leave and come back?" Jasper asked, and I stared at the corner above his head for a few seconds, considering.

"Come back in about an hour? We should almost be done with breakfast? Just come up to the door, I'm sure Charlie won't mind." I said, looking back at Jasper. His caramel eyes sparkled with humor, as he stood.

"An hour, I can do that. Gives me enough time to catch a bite to eat, and get a hold of a car. It would look strange if I went everywhere on foot." Jasper mused, placing a hand on the window.

"You do that then. And, Jasper?" I whispered, so low that if I hadn't spoken the words, I would have never known they were said.

"Yeah, Bella?" He asked, looking back over his shoulder.

"Thanks for letting me get that out of my system last night." I sighed, and Jasper smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners slightly. My lips curved in return, an unnatural feeling swirling through me. Happiness?

"It's no problem, Bella. See you in an hour." Jasper was out of the window before I could blink. Shaking my head, I turned, heading out of my room, still feeling the smile on my face.

~*~

"Do you want that, Bells?" Charlie's voice cut through my thoughts. I had been replaying last night, resisting the urge to cringe at my behavior. I couldn't believe how I had acted, that I had said the things I had said. I wouldn't be surprised if Jasper came to his senses, and made for the first plane out of the country. My head snapped up, following his fingers to the plate on the center of the table.

"Huh? Oh, no, you can have it." I said, and Charlie picked up the platter, tipping the last two sausages onto his plate, where they landed in the remnants of syrup and pancakes.

I grimaced slightly; there was nothing worse than meat drenched in maple syrup, but Charlie obviously didn't mind.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Charlie asked, and I looked up, as I speared a bit of scrambled eggs on my fork.

"Oh, um…I'm not sure yet?" I said, considering my options. Hopefully Charlie would be willing to let Jasper visit for awhile, so we could just hang around the living room, instead of my room. Much safer; I wouldn't have to be paranoid that Charlie would burst in and find me talking to him, and Charlie wouldn't think I was talking to myself.

"I was planning on going to La Push," He said in between bites of sausage. "When was the last time you went up? I know Jake has been dying to see you." I nearly dropped my fork at the mention of Jake.

I hadn't seen or talked to him since he had come by with Billy to bring the fish fry. It would be nice to visit him, wouldn't it? A day to hang out, without having to force conversation along. As long as I didn't have to attempt any flirting, a visit might be fun.

"When are you going?" I toyed with my fork. Before Charlie could answer, the doorbell rang, and my heart began to pound.

"I'll get it!" I nearly yelled, throwing down my napkin. Charlie gave me an odd lock. "I'm...err…expecting Angela to stop by." I lied, edging out of the kitchen.

Once I was out, I forced myself to hold my speed down, both to avoid injury, and not seem overly eager. Nevertheless, I tripped over absolutely nothing directly in front of the door, and fell into it, with an "ugh!" and a painful thump.

Once I regained my footing, I yanked the door open, to Jasper's smirking face.

"I was wondering who was going to open the door. The thump answered my question before I even saw you." Jasper chuckled, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jacket, and rocking forward on the balls of his feet. I scowled up at him, and his smile grew.

"I'm actually surprised you came back. I'd have figured you would have headed for the hills by now?" I said, leaning against the door jamb, trying to joke, but feeling very glad to see he had returned.

"Thought about it, then decided it was too much work." He replied, with a mock sigh. "Maybe next time."

"Next time? So, that means you're planning on st-"I began, a smile forming, before he cut me off, suddenly.

"How have you been, Bella?" Jasper's question was polite, unlike his previous joking banter.

"What?" I mouthed, and he indicated with his head. I whipped around, to see Charlie standing in the doorway from the kitchen, his lips pulled down into a frown.

"Hey, Dad!" I said, trying to play calm, but failing. What if Charlie remembered Jasper's name, and put two and two together? My "Casper the angry badger" dream and Jasper's appearance? What if he realized that I had been lying this morning? My heart twisted uncomfortable, and I began to feel panicky.

Before I could work myself up too much, peacefulness blanketed me, and I was able to maintain my steady breathing. "You remember Jasper, right? He's one of Ed…He's one of the Cullens' foster kids?" I said casually, fighting the urge to wince at his name. Charlie's expression darkened.

"Yeah." He said gruffly, and I frowned at him.

"Hello, Chief Swan." Jasper said, and I felt another wave of calmness. Charlie's grim expression didn't brighten.

"Jasper was just heading through town, to pick up some things he left back at the Cullens' old house." I supplied, frustrated, and somewhat worried by Charlie's reaction.

"And I just stopped by to say hello, and to see how Bella was doing." Jasper continued. Charlie just grunted in Jasper's general direction.

"Bella, can I talk to you?" He said, and I nodded.

"Yeah, Dad?" I asked, and he jerked his head toward the kitchen.

"In _private_?" He replied, pointedly. My shoulders slumped. So much for Jasper being able to visit without it having to be a secret.

"Fine, Dad. Just give me a couple more minutes here?" I asked, feeling defeated, and Charlie nodded, still glowering at Jasper, before turning, and walking back into the kitchen. I immediately turned back to Jasper.

"Sorry about that. I don't know what's gotten into him." I sighed, biting my lip.

"It's pretty obvious, Bella." Jasper replied, relaxing against wall, his face amused once more.

"Oh?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"Well, the brother of his only child's ex-boyfriend, who left her alone in the forest, has just stopped by to visit." He said. "Considering the depression you got into, he's probably just scared my visit with cause you to relapse."

He said it so matter-of-factly; I would have thought he was reading his mind, if I didn't know he possessed that specific power. I warily opened my eyes.

"That's why?" I asked, shaking my head, feeling absurd.

"Of course. Why else would he act like that?" Jasper shifted, and I knew he was right.

"I guess." I mumbled, as Charlie cleared his throat loudly.

"Isabella, I'm waiting." Charlie said loudly, stressing my name, and I flinched.

"Is he mad?" I whispered, and Jasper nodded, looking slightly amused. "Can't you…"

"No, Bella. I'm not going to manipulate his emotions for your benefit." Jasper replied, grinning. He opened his arms, and I stepped into them, giving him a light hug.

"I'll wait in your room." He whispered, and I nodded. "It was nice seeing you again, Bella. I'll make sure to have Alice call you, ok?" He said at a higher volume, for Charlie's benefit.

"Ok." I squeaked out, feeling oddly deflated.

"Bye, Bella. Bye, Chief Swan." Jasper called toward the kitchen. No answer. Sighing, I nodded at Jasper, and closed the door.

"Dad…" I sighed, walking into the kitchen. Charlie was sitting at the table, his arms crossing his chest, his face marred by disapproval.

"I don't want you seeing that boy again." He snapped in response, uncrossing his arms and placing them on the table, glowering at me.

"Why not? My friends aren't allowed to check on me, now?" I said, and Charlie's eye narrowed.

"Some friends they are." He said. "What kind of friends leave without saying goodbye?" He pointed out, and I froze. Oh, if only Charlie knew the situation.

"It was for the best, rea-"I began, but he cut me off, his tone harsh.

"Bella, up until this morning, you were all but dead!" Charlie yelled, standing. "You were like that since they left, but it was _for the best?"_ I flinched at his harsh words.

"You're right." I mumbled, the memory of that day, those days, far too fresh in my mind.

"Of course I'm right." He said, sitting back down.

"I'm sorry about all that, Dad." I looked up, biting my lip. "I know I stressed you and Mom out, and I feel absolutely horrible." Against my will, tears began to well up.

Charlie's worries weren't completely unfounded; I had fallen apart after they left. To get mad at him for being angry that any one of them actually came back by to visit? It wasn't the smartest idea. Charlie had nearly lost me during those months, in more ways than he knew. If not for him and Renee, but mainly him, I wouldn't be here anymore.

"Bells, don't cry. " Charlie said, and I looked up. He looked slightly anxious, his tone was nervous. He never did will with emotions. "I'm sorry, it's just that I worry about you, kiddo."

"I know, Dad." I sniffled, wrapping my arms against myself, and leaning against the fridge.

"What if this visit…I'm just getting the Bella I know back, I don't want to lose her again." He sighed, and I shook my head fiercely.

"I'm here to stay. I'm not going back into that." I promised, both to Charlie and myself.

"Ok, Bella." Charlie said, standing, and picking up his plate. "You think you're going to head up to La Push?" He asked, moving on. I nodded, grateful to get past the topic.

"Yeah, I'll head down after I clean up here." I said. I would be missing out on valuable time with Jasper, catching up on what I had missed, but I had other days for that, didn't I? It would be best to do this, to convince Charlie I was ready to move on.

Charlie carried the plates from the table, and settled them gently in the sink, and headed for the door, stopping by me. He gripped my shoulder, patting it awkwardly.

"It's nice to have you back, Bells." Charlie mumbled, a smile slowly forming. I smiled back, patting his hand.

"It's nice to be back." I joked, but my smile was sincere. He gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze, and headed toward the stairs.

Still smiling, I turned to the sink, and began running water, while casting a glance out the window, at the snow drifts. For once, I was not resentful of the cold, of the wetness.

It was like I said to Charlie. It was a new year and time for a new Bella. Jasper's return helped to set it in motion, and I was grateful.

Maybe things would get better. The hole in my chest still burned, but the prospect of a visit with friends, and getting in touch with the old was like a soothing aloe gel on the edges.

I exhaled, and closed my eyes.

'_One day at a time, Bella, one day at a time.' _I told myself.

**Dani's A/N: I'm definitely not happy with this chapter. Bella isn't my favorite character to write for; she has the martyr complex going on, and…I dunno. She's difficult for me to catch though. Sorry if she's OOC, both from her actual character, and the one in the story. I know she went from depressed to cheerful really fast…I suck at this. But Jasper's visit, along with her promise to Charlie are both going to influence her mood and personality. At this point in the story, if the Cullens left in September, and it's the beginning of January, she's essentially been a zombie for about three months, and Charlie's had to endure it all. She's starting to realize, after Jasper's appearance brought her out of her depression, exactly how hard it's been for Charlie, and she's feeling remorseful, so she's putting more effort into her attitude, to make life pleasant for him. Does that make any sense? Sorry if it doesn't, I fail at details.**

**Also, I'm reading the story over, checking for things that need to be edited, but if you see any mistakes I may have missed, let me know? I shouldn't be missing a lot of errors actually, considering I'm an editor for the newspaper at the college, but I don't normally edit long chunks of text such as these. Most articles run at about…350 words? And the body of this chapter is over 3000…yeah. Lol. But in any case, you guys rock! The last update brought us up to 17 reviews and as you can tell, I got my replacement charger arrived =D. So, both J and I are ecstatic, and totally love all you guys haha. **

**But, yeah. Review, because reviews are the best thing in the world, excluding cookies, and both of them speed up the writing process. Also, a question: How many of you guys actually know what Jasper's motive is? I'm just wondering. So, if you know, tell us =).**

**Chapter five will be started soon =). Expect it!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. You know that.**

**Edward's POV**

Three months.

Three months of tracking Victoria, of following her up and down the coast, only to lose her. I had followed her from Washington, through Oregon, California, along with a detour through Arizona, Nevada, and Texas, before she dropped into Mexico, where I lost her scent.

I had traced her as far as Tijuana, before her scent went cold just before dawn. Tracking her was not an option due to the climate; it was sunny, with hardly a cloudy day. I had been forced to take refuge in a shoddy hotel room during the day, which is where I'm still at.

Lying on the stained bed, I began to think of Bella. My undead heart gave a painful twist at the thought. I missed her dearly, and every night I was tracking Victoria, I wished I was with her, watching her sleep. I just wanted to listen to her heartbeat, inhale her delicious scent, and feel her warmth against me. It was foolish to blame Jasper for the accident, but I could not help but feel it was entirely his fault, for not being able to help himself-even though I made the decision for us to leave.

These three months of being solitary had left me with more time to think, and the longer I thought about the accident, the bitterer I became toward my brother. I knew no one was to blame; Bella's accident had been just that; an accident. But if he had not become nearly feral at the scent, life may have been different. I would be with my family; I would be with my Bella. Not here, skulking in the hotel room, waiting for darkness like a vampire of folklore and media portrayal.

Sighing, I checked my watch; it was only 4 p.m., and there were several more hours of daylight before I could resume my hunting. Which would be pointless by now, as Victoria's scent would be lost.

I sat up, burying my head in my hands, wishing I could tune out the babble of thoughts in my mind. Tijuana wasn't the safest place for tourists, and the thoughts of the locals revealed it. Just from the thoughts I was catching, there was carjacking, kidnapping, and a number of other illegal activities going on. Not for the first time, I wished I could contact Alice for assistance.

As if on command, my phone vibrated on the bed I was sitting on, and I reached back, picking up the small, slim device.

"Alice?"

"The one and only, Edward." Her trilling voice was subdued, not bursting with the usual excitement.

"Is there something wrong? I've been trying to contact you, but-"I began, but Alice cut me off.

"As far as I can tell, Victoria plans to head for Baja, and then make her way back to Forks. Her plans keep changing, but Baja, then Forks are definite. I'm also seeing more vampires being involved; I believe she is travelling with a companion, but I cannot be sure." Alice informed me, stating the information as if she was reading it from a prepared sheet.

"Thank you, Alice." I said, and she made a noncommittal noise in return.

"Is something wrong, Alice? Is someone hurt?" I asked, confused by her silence.

"Jasper left me." She whispered, her voice cracking.

"Why?" I exclaimed, leaping to my feet, and pacing. Alice sighed, the sound saying more than any words could.

"It's because of what happened, isn't it?" I asked. Silence was my only answer. "Alice, talk to me, please."

"He's been fretting over it for months." Her tone was dejected. "We've been fighting more lately, just over little things. He's become distant, both emotionally, and…well…physically." I flinched, not wanting to imagine their love life. They were much less exuberant than Emmett and Rosalie, but still very active in their exploits.

"Oh." I said quietly, and Alice continued on, ignoring me.

"Also, I've been seeing visions…of Jasper, and Bella." A growl tore itself free at the thought of Jasper, doing only God knows what to Bella.

"What do you mean, you've been seeing visions?" I asked through clenched teeth, still pacing.

"I'm not sure Edward. The visions have been spotty for months; I think the wolves may be involved. Eleazar passed through Forks to check on the house for Carlisle in November. According to him, it was in perfect state, but the land surrounding ours reeks of the dogs." My nose wrinkled, remembering the putrid, bitter scent from many years ago, when the original treaty was set into place.

"Also, Edward, you're not going to like this." Alice said, and I froze mid pace, several inches from the wall.

"What?" I said, already expecting and dreading her words.

"Jasper is with Bella right now." A snarl tore free from my lips, and I punched the wall, my fist breaking the plaster easily. The excited chatter from the adjoining room ceased, as through the hole, I could see several scared occupants staring at the wall, their heartbeats picking up. Bending, I peeked through the hole.

"_Apesadumbrado sobre eso." _I called.

"_Está bien._" An occupant called back, their voice shaky, and I strode across the room, back to the bed. Settling on the edge, I fought to keep my voice low.

"Alice, can you see when the next flight to Seattle will be from the nearest airport?" I asked calmly, already forming a plan.

"Edward, you will not be killing Jasper." Alice said sternly, and I could all but feel her glare through the phone.

"Alice, we don't know what he's planning!" I hissed, and she sighed.

"I have a pretty good idea." She said her tone bitter.

"And what might that be?" I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, running my free hand through my hair.

"Jasper is helping Bella. Thanks to _someone_," the word was laced with venom. "Bella has been quite depressed, and her future has been flickering in and out. Now that Jasper's involved, it has become steadier. There have been occasional blackouts, but it generally comes back. I think it may involve La Push, but I can't be sure."

My mind was reeling. I didn't think our leaving would affect Bella that much. Alice's information left much to be desired. Why would her future be flickering? Suddenly, the content of what I had just learned registered.

"Why have you been looking into Bella's future?" I asked, and Alice swore lightly.

"Why wouldn't I look into it?" She replied primly, and frustration took over.

"Possibly because I asked you to stay out of her life, and to not search for her future?" I said, sarcasm coloring my words.

"More like ordered." Alice mumbled, snorting.

"Why would Bella be keeping company with wolves?" I mused, more to myself, knowing the previous thread would be a lost cause. Alice was silent.

"She has plenty of human friends. Only Bella would jump from one dangerous mythical creature, to the next." I snorted, more to myself, anger welling up. "What was she thinking? I leave to keep her safe from the dangers being associated with vampires brought about, and she immediately strikes up camaraderie with a pack of vicious dogs?"

"Shut up right there, Edward." Alice snarled over the phone, and I fell silent.

"I was right, Edward. Is she any better off without us there?" She snapped.

"Alice, this isn't the time for 'I told-"I started, but she snarled again, cutting my words off.

"It was a rhetorical question, Edward. I didn't want your input." Her tinkling voice was lower than usual; she almost sounded dangerous. "As I was saying, she is no better without us there. If anything, your 'all for the best' scenario," I could see her forming air quotes around the phrase. "Was nothing but bullshit. Bella's gone and made friends with both the vampire who nearly killed her, and a pack of unstable animals. I hope you're happy Edward. You can blame Jasper all you want, but your decision to leave is what brought us to this point."

Alice was right, and she knew I knew that. I could blame Jasper for the rest of my existence, but it would be my fault. Not only for bringing Bella into our lives, but for leaving her, for sending her into this depression, and to Jasper and that pack of dogs.

I was horrified by my actions, sickened by the consequences. I wanted nothing more than to go back to Forks, to go to my Bella, and beg for forgiveness. To tell her how much I loved her, to ask her to spend the rest of her life with me. I was willing to give her anything she wanted to bring her back to me, even if it meant damning her soul, just so she could have her wish of spending eternity with me.

"Edward, stay in Mexico. Continue to track Victoria, ok?" Alice sighed, obviously seeing my resolutions. "I can keep an eye on Bella through my visions, if you'd like. I intend to visit within the next few months, to check up. If anything changes, I will let you know immediately."

"Please do." I whispered, my eyes burning with unshed tears of venom.

"I will. Just, please, don't do anything rash, Edward." Alice said, and hung up.

I sat motionless, the phone still clutched to my ear, as I stared absently at the hole.

The accident, my choices, had set a chain of events in motion, much like knocking over a domino at the beginning of a complex design. And just like that design, one mistake, one off balance domino could stop the chain of events, and set it on a new path.

As the phone splintered in my hand, I couldn't comprehend what the extent of exactly what I had set into play.

God, what had I done? What had I unwittingly sentenced Bella to?

**Dani's A/N: While this may seem random, there is, in fact, a method to our madness. J is working on Jasper's chapter, because I'm burnt out when it comes to writing. This divergence from the storyline will be important in the future, and you can expect at least two more similar chapters, but from different characters =).**

**I'm sorry if Edward is OOC; he is the one character I absolutely can't write. I think only Stephenie Meyer can really make sense of him, because, except for Midnight Sun, he's always seemed like a bit of a flat character for me. Besides the fact he's protective to a fault, and he's insanely gorgeous, and has near-Victorian era morals, I've always felt Edward had very little personality. Maybe you think different, and sorry if our viewpoints conflict.**

**In any case, yes. Here's a chapter to tide you over, until we can get the next chapter together. J should have a copy of the outline on the flash drive, but I know he won't read it, he prefers to wing it. Lol. Yes, though. This chapter, Edward persona aside, was quite easy to come up with, although my iTunes playlist, which helps to inspire me to write, was a bit…odd. Tracks include "Thriller", by Michael Jackson, cause it's the best song ever, and it sucks he's dead ='(, "When I Grow Up," By the Pussycat Dolls, but the Mayday Parade remix for Punk Goes Pop 2, and "Four Years" By Senses Fails. All good songs, but iTunes genius comes out with some random mixes. Not that anyone cares, I just thought it was interesting =).**

**But yes, so review, because reviews are amazing, and it gets the next chapter up a bit faster, because it's motivation =).**


	7. Sorry dude, my bad

Ello!

It's Dani. Well, I never read the interlude that I posted, chapter 7. That should have been a quick note, with an update, saying that we were working on the chapter and hoped to have it posted by next week. Silly me, I uploaded the wrong document. I was wondering why all the reviews were saying it was a good chapter, but short.

In any case, the actual chapter is up, which is the full version of the one that this note is replacing…Mah bad =p.

Enjoy =).


	8. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:Is not necessary, because we all know I don't own this.**

Sitting in the dark, in Bella's room, twiddling my thumbs. This wasn't how I expected today to go. I was expecting Charlie's reaction; in fact, I would have been worried if he had been accepting of my visit. However, what I wasn't expecting was for Bella to run off to La Push and go gallivanting with a bunch of rabid dogs.

I wasn't sure how many wolves there actually were, but the stench of wet fur was heavy in the forest, both along the edge of our property, as well as Forks. The area near the treaty line was all but unapproachable; the scents burning my nose, making me want to gag.

After I had left earlier, I had driven back up to the house. Whether its location or the unconscious fear of us still lingered, it was perfectly undisturbed, the layer of dust evidence that the house hadn't been disrupted by adventurous teenagers during the months of our absence. As if my return had been expected, the lights and water were still functioning. All the furniture remained, swathed in protective covers and sheets, as were the contents of the closets; Alice had left nearly all our clothes behind, opting to buy new ones.

"Alice." I let her name escape my lips in a silent whisper.

The image of her beautiful, pixie-like face flooded my mind. Her memory a haunting reminder of the life I had given up. Given up for what?

Isabella Swan.

Lunch.

I looked down, at the tangled knot of fingers in my lap, trying to push the memories out of my head. I could have easily sat still to pass the time, but it got old quickly. Hours of maintaining the same position wore on me mentally, although no physical changes occurred; I might collect a bit of dust, but nothing more. An image of myself, covered in a light coating of dust, a spider web stretching from the tip of my nose to my shirt collar flashed in my mind, and I grinned, shaking my head to clear the image. That would be something I could share with Bella, she might find it humorous.

As if the thought of her name conjured her, the rumble of her old truck disturbed the general silence of her street from several blocks away. I leaned back, feeling slightly ridiculous, like a villain from a bad movie. Waiting in the dark? But lights weren't an option for me; it would attract attention for the neighbors.

I suppose it was fitting. Hiding, waiting. Planning to ambush an unsuspecting prey. I had done it countless times before. The same waves of fear flooding over me as my prey's life drew ever closer to an end.

Once again I asked myself why I was giving up my life with the Cullens, with Alice. Why I was giving up my happiness for such a pitiful creature.

Then, as it to answer my unspoken question, a gust of wind stirred the curtains of her open window, freshening the air in the room, bringing new life to the lingering scent I had just started to become accustomed to. Oh god that scent, it filled my entire body, sent shivers that rocked my entire frame as venom pooled in my mouth. The police cruiser pulled up, as I heard the rusty sound of Bella opening her door. I heard her uneven, clumsy steps as she tumbled from the seat of the truck, snapping me out of my hunger induced trance and causing me to swallow the pool of venom in my mouth.

I was getting better at this "control" thing.

"What a stupid, clumsy girl," I chuckled softly, slightly amused at the thought of her falling face first into the pavement.

_How would Charlie take it? Losing his only daughter._ The question seemed to raise a bit of hesitance in my actions. What would he do when Bella didn't come home that night? When the police failed to find any traces of her? What would he do when he finally realized that she would never come back? I never knew, would never know, the pain of losing a child.

Could I really do this? Strip him of his only child. The one person that reminded him about Renee. The remainder of the relationship he lost.

And what about Renee? Bella's childish mother would surely lose whatever mind she had left when she found out what happened. She'd naturally blame Charlie, who would undoubtedly blame himself.

"Oh, crap!" I heard Bella's surprised voice a fraction of a second before a thump, breaking my concentration.

"Are you ok, Bella?" Charlie asked' his voiced slightly annoyed, almost monotone, like if it was a daily occurrence he'd gotten used to.

"Yeah Char... er, dad. I'm fine. Just a few scratches, nothing to worry about" said Bella, her voice shaky. The lie in Bella's voice was evident, or at least it was to me, but Charlie seemed to take it as the truth. "Make sure you wash your hands and disinfect your scratches. We don't want you to get an infection," said Charlie, his voice still as monotone as before, as if he'd said this many times before and had committed it to memory.

I hoped Bella wouldn't come to me to whine about how much it hurt. I had no interest in her petty wounds. Of course, I might have to fake concern if I meant to achieve my goal. After all, who else besides her parents would miss Bella Swan?

She knew no one. Was no one.

The only other person who would even care that she was gone would be that idiot Mike Newton. And even he would forget in time.

The world would be better off without Isabella Swan.

She, like everyone else, was expendable.

Keys rattled, and the front door opened. Two distinct thumps sounded, maybe Charlie kicking off his shoes? The door slammed shut, and two distinct set of footsteps sounded, before I heard the nearly inaudible whoosh and suctioning pop of a fridge door being open. There was a rattle of glass bottles.

"Want a soda?" Charlie's voice was gruff, awkward. Bella murmured her assent, and Charlie closed the fridge door , the sound mingling with the click and hiss of the soda can tab being popped.

"So, Bella. Where's that Cullen kid?" Charlie's voice was filled with disgust as he made his reference to me, unable to disguise his anger. The waves of hate were thick, pounding against me like a jackhammer against a rock. Two chairs scraped across the floor.

Bella's hesitation to respond made Charlie's mood even darker. I could imagine the hate in his eyes as thought about me, or any of the others for that matter. There was no way that Charlie could forgive Edward for what he'd done to his daughter. My presence allowed him to leak out some of that pent up anger and hate.

The image of what Charlie would possibly attempt to do Edward amused me. Poor, weak, pitiful Charlie would never stand a chance against one of our kind and there was no way we could let him live if he ever found out.

_I wonder if Charlie tastes good? _I thought to myself as a smirk formed on my mouth. His scent certainly had a resemblance to Bella's. Maybe he could be a victory snack after I finished with Bella. Maybe I'd look for Renee too. Certainly mixing their blood could be like a second serving of Bella, then I'd wash it down with a bit of Phil.

_Looks like I'll have a bit of a bloodbath in my hands_, a silent chuckle escaping my lips. No matter. I was made for this. There would be no trouble with my plans.

"Um," Bella's voice broke my little fantasy, returning my focus to the conversation going on downstairs. "I'm not really sure, Dad," her voice sounded nervous, scared, as if she was afraid of Charlie's reaction.

She had all the right to be. Charlie's anger was steadily rising; if he didn't relax he'd give himself a heart attack.

"I don't want him in this house. Hell, I don't want him, or any of his family within a thousand miles of you," Undisguised hatred colored every syllable that fell from his lips; memories of his daughter's previous state must've been filling his head. He had all the right to be worried after all. When I first arrived Bella was a shadow of her former self, barely alive. Bella's weak will and emotional state would prove to be her undoing.

"But Dad," began Bella, her voice whiny, like a teenager who didn't get her way. Which is exactly what she was. "You don't understand' Jasper isn't like…..him." Even after all this time she was unable to bring herself to say Edward's name.

This struck a nerve in me. How could I possibly get her to trust me enough to obtain my goal when she wouldn't let the memory of that fool go?

"Look. As far as I'm concerned, the whole lot of them aren't welcome in this house, or anywhere near you for that matter. Do I make myself clear?" Charlie's anger had leveled out, he now sounded tired.

"Crystal, Dad." Bella mumbled, and the tense atmosphere slowly lightened. I imagined Bella's shoulder's slumping in defeat, and I snorted lightly, leaning back in the chair.

"So, did you enjoy the trip over to Jacob's?" Bella's voice slightly fluttered as she said the boy's name. I wondered if he meant anything to her. He might end up posing another problem if he ended up becoming a dog himself.

Charlie must have heard the fluctuation in her voice as well. I caught strains of amusement now. "Did you?"

"Um, of course. Why wouldn't I have?" Bella answered, her voice noticeably nervous. Yep, this Jacob kid definitely meant something to her.

"You sure looked excited when you saw Jake." Charlie chuckled, his dark mood now completely gone. Seems like he also liked him. "Jake's a good kid, you should date him. Sure, he's a bit younger, but he'd be good for you, unlike those-"

"Dad, don't." Bella cut Charlie off sharply, and he lapsed into silence.

"Anyways,Dad, Jake and I are just friends." Bella continued, trying to once again liven the mood, although her voice had a defensive edge to it.

"Sure didn't seem like it to me," chuckled Charlie, his voice sounded glad at the change of subject. "You and Jake would make a cute couple."

"This is awkward. You're supposed to be protecting me, and making swear off dating until I'm married." Bella protested, and Charlie laughed outright.

"I'm not telling you to go out and make me a grandfather Bells,"said Charlie, choking back his laughs. "All I'm saying is to give Jake a chance. After all I wouldn't mind being Jake's father-in-law."

Bella started coughing, and the lively mood immediately shifted to concern. I rocked forward, resting my elbows on my knees. Bella was taking entirely too long down there.

"God, Dad! I barely know him, and you're already thinking marriage?" Bella sputtered. "Can we talk about something else, please?" She pleaded, still coughing.

"Sure, Bells." Charlie chuckled. "Ready for school to start back?

***

After what seemed like hours, but in reality was but twenty minutes, the conversation ended, and the sounds of the television floated up the stairs, accompanied by quiet footsteps. I could hear Bella's steady breathing. Her scent reached me well before she did, and I steeled my nerves, waiting.

She opened the door, and turned to the open window, shivering.

"Hello, Bella." I said lowly, as she crossed the room. She jumped, shrieking slightly. The television was muted, and Charlie's voice came up the stairs.

"You ok, Bella?" He called, and she glanced at me. I nodded.

"Yeah, Dad. I just stepped on a shirt and scared myself!" She yelled back, and the television returned to normal volume, as Bella settled onto her bed, shaking slightly. I had scared her. Good. I watched as she fumbled, nearly knocking over the lamp on her nightstand in her attempt to turn it on.

"So, I'm just passing through, eh?" I asked quietly, standing and crossing to the window. I leaned against the wall next to it. "In that case, I'll just be on my way. Have a nice life with...who was it? Jacob? Yes, with him." I started to climb out the window, but Bella's hand caught my sleeve, tugged on it.

"Stop it!" She whispered, and I turned to face her, allowing a smirk to cross my lips.

"Why?" I'm just passing through. After all, I should be heading back to school, right?" Bella's pursed her lips, staring at me stonily, but she was even more scared than before, and anxious.

"I...I just told that to Charlie to get him off my back! He..." Bella sputtered, trailing off.

"He doesn't like me." I stated, and she shook her head fiercely, her dark hair flying about her face. Her scent assaulted me; it was as if she had grabbed me by the back of the neck, and buried my face into her skin. I bit my lip, feeling and hearing the skin break. Bella held her breath at the sound of the low screech.

The TV was muted for a second time, and then Charlie's heavy, deliberate footsteps sounded on the carpeted steps. With a huff, I lifted myself up and out of the window, heaving myself effortlessly onto the roof. I settled against the shingles, pulling the hood up on the unnecessary sweat jacket I wore under my equally unneeded coat. Heat or cold made no difference to me, but certain appearances needed to be upheld, and the dark fabric of the jacket hid the blonde of my hair.

There was a quiet knocking, then the click and creak of Bella's bedroom door, and then Charlie's footstep. I heard the ruffle of book pages, and settled by head down against the roof, taking gulps of the semi-fresh air. I licked the venom welling up from the split skin of my lip; feeling the sting of it on the exposed skin. Although my skin was marble hard, against the razor blade surfaces of my teeth it was like wet tissue paper.

"What was that, Bella?" Charlie's voice was alert. He was apparently more aware than Edward had ever given him credit for. Speaking of which, he would surely tear me to pieces if he knew I was even back in Forks.

"The window." Bella said simply. Charlie clumped across the wooden floor, and stopped. I heard several high-pitched squeaks, that were like screaming to my ears. Surely, they were noticeable to the humans.

"Huh." Charlie continued to play with the window for several seconds. "Do you want me to put the WD-40 on it tonight? Or should I wait until tomorrow morning?"

"Uh, I think I can handle it, Dad. I promise I won't blind myself." Bella laughed, but it was a tired sound.

Charlie was silent, before laughing himself. "Alright, kiddo. I'll leave it out tomorrow morning when I leave. Night, Bells."

"Night, Dad." The door clicked shut, and Charlie's footsteps receded down the stairs. I followed the sound downstairs, then back up, and through the narrow hall. A door opened and closed, and I swung back into the window, landing on the seal, and sliding to the floor quietly. Bella was sprawled across the bed, following my every move.

"The window?" I asked her, trying to contain a laugh.

"Well, yeah. What else was I supposed to say?" she replied, a defensive edge to her voice.

"Oh,I don't know. Maybe that a you snuck a vampire into your room?" I replied, adopting a sarcastic tone of my own. "Anyways, like I said, I'll be on my way. Have a nice life with your little mutt buddy. I'll make sure to tell Edward you moved on next time I see him." I started to make my way slowly across to the window as I spoke, her eyes widening as I spoke Edward's name, her mood darkening to match her expression.

Bella paled,something hard to do for her skin tone. Her face, the color of cream and roses, faded to the unhealthy mottled grey of paste. She looked ill,as if she were about to vomit whatever rancid human food she had eaten.

"I think he'll be happy that you moved on. This will make it easier for him to forget you. Who knows, maybe he'll finally come to his senses. Even if it is with a mutt." I smirked. "If he hasn't, already. I'm sure Tanya is enjoying his company." This was utter bullshit; I knew Edward was probably curled into a ball in some backwood cabin, eating rats and sobbing over his precious Bella.

Bella let out a small sob, and I reveled in the immense sadness she was creating. God, when did I become such a sadistic bastard? It was fun. All those years with the Cullens had softened me, dulled the sarcastic, angry young vampire I had once been.

Breaking that mold was refreshing. Maybe leading this life again wasn't so bad. So what if I killed a few humans now and then? It's not like they would be missed for long. In fact, I'd be doing the world a favor. Humans were stupid and simple. Not to mention there were billions of them. I could just consider this population control.

I turned back to Bella, who was making no effort to quell her quiet sobs, or stop the stream of tears down her face. Her nose was slightly red, and dripping. I nearly recoiled at the site. If Edward found this attractive in any manner besides being edible, all those years of celibacy must have truly gotten to him.

"D-d-don't go." Bella choked out, before bursting into a new round of sobs, her sadness affecting me. Talk about being a mood kill. Humans were nothing but tears and stupid, simple emotions--especially this one.

"Quit crying." I hissed,a bit harshly. My own anger was overcoming the forlorn mood she was casting. "Do you want Charlie to come in here, and find you crying?" She shook her head fiercely, but tears continued to spill down her cheeks.

"Then relax." I spat out, more angrily than I should've. "Face it. He was right. You're better off without him around. Without any of us for that matter."

"I know." She replied, her words now taking on a nasally, foghorn quality. Her words caught me off guard.

"You know? Then why do you want me to stay so badly?" I asked, and she stretched out on the bed, wiping her tears away with the heels of her hands. I settled back into the rocking chair, waiting for her answer. She stared at me for several long minutes, not talking. Charlie's snores, and the occasional owl hoot were the only breaks in the silence. Finally, she shrugged.

"I don't know. But I'd like it if you'd stay." She whispered finally, and I crossed my arms, not showing any outward signs of happiness, now that my in was secured.

"I'll stay." Bella's face lit up, and it became more difficult to supress my own elation now that hers added to it. "But on a few conditions." Her face fell again.

"Yeah?" she asked evenly.

"Same as the ones from last night. But, now, no crying. None of these tears, no begging. I can't handle it." Bella nodded her head eagarly.

"I can do that. Thanks, Jasper." She said, pushing herself up from the bed, so she was sitting cross-legged.

"Yeah." I replied, and then we both fell silent.

"I'll be back." Bella said suddenly, and walked over to her dresser. She took two balls of fabric, and then exited the room. I heard the click of a light switch, and a lock, and heard the sound of running water. Bella returned several minutes later, now dressed in an over-sized t-shirt and equally baggy pajama bottoms, smelling like cinnamon and mint. The intermingling smells did nothing to mask her own natural smell; if anything, it enhanced them, much like a human seasoning their meat. I resisted both the urge to throw myself at her, and drain her dry, and bury my face into my hands at my own stupidity.

Why was I dragging this along? I was never one for playing with my food... excessively, anyways.

I watched as she took her time, fluffing her pillows and straightening the covers on her bed, before climbing underneath them. I cocked my head; why did she even bother.

"Renee always told me that I would get the best night's rest if my bed was neatly made when I laid down, and I agree. Even if it means straightening it right before I lay down." Bella explained, catching my expression. She giggled, and I rolled my eyes.

"Hah." I said tonelessly. She fell silent again.

"Jasper?" She asked. I nodded at her, indicating she had my attention. "Why did you call Jacob a mutt?"

Fuck. Was he one of those damn infernal dogs? Or did she not know? I knew something from what Edward had told me; that the boy had been the one to inform her of what we were, even if he was under the idea it was nothing but a legend. Perhaps I should return the favor. After all, turnabout was fair play.

"I meant his dog. You're gonna be stuck around that flea-bitten mutt until it dies, when you settled down with him." I improvised.

Bella pressed her lips together, a quick surge of anger burning through. "The Blacks don't have a dog." She responded, ignoring my comment.

"You smell like wet fur." I countered, and she fell silent, although I caught several small sniffs.

"I don't smell anything." She said. "Of course, all you vampires are so sensitive that it's quite possible you're imagining it. " Bella quipped.

"I'm not imagining anything. You smell like rancid mutt. It's disgusting." I replied dryly.

"Geez, thanks Jasper." Bella replied, unscathed by my comment. "You sure make a girl feel pretty."

"Or it's possible you're inferior human senses are too dull to pick it up." I added, and she made a face at me, although her sadness was palpable.

"I don't see what Alice sees in you." Bella retorted, a hint of anger replacing her prior mood. "You're a bit of a jerk."

The mention of Alice's name struck a nerve.

"The same could be said for Edward." I replied coldly.

Bella dropped her head as I caught a glimpse of tears beginning to pool beneath her eyes. I cleared my throat, and she covered her eyes, but no sobs emerged, no tears escaped.

"I think Sam might have a dog." Bella said finally, dropping her hands. Her eyes were still moist-looking, but her cheeks were dry. "He dropped by today while we were visiting. Maybe the scent stuck to me?"

It seemed that it was the one named Sam that was the mutt, not this Jacob kid. Nevertheless, with the way things were going, it wouldnt be long before this Jacob joined the mutt pack. My return to Forks would only make his transformation quicker.

"Is something wrong, Jasper?" Bella's concerned whisper broke my concentration, as she leant over, and turned off her light, snuggling down into her blankets. I heard her inhale deeply once more as she buried her face into the pillow, and I knew she was breathing in Edward's scent. I ignored it; I had bigger problems on hand; her pillow-sniffing fetish wasn't one of them.

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I replied casually, trying to hide my worries. "I was just thinking that if the scent of wet dog clung to you from this Sam fellow, you two must've been real close. This Jacob kid might get jealous." a soft chuckle escaped at the thought of Jacob trying to take on Sam the mutt over this simple creature.

"He caught me when I fell down the porch steps." She explained in a hurry, anxiety clouding the air. "Nothing like that. He's with Leah Clearwater, and I...well, I like my face the way it is."

"You don't have to explain anything to me Bella." I replied, trying to cut the conversation short. "Whether you want Sam or Jacob is none if my concern. Hell, I could care less if you want them both and half the reservation. Whatever works for you."

"Jasper,I'm not that kind of girl." Bella replied sternly, but with a hint of laughter, obviously annoyed at my smart comment.

"Like I said, Isabella, I don't particularly care." I chuckled,knowing that being called her full name would annoy her as much as it annoyed me when I was called "Jazzy."

Bella sprang up in bed, and opened her mouth to say something, but was cut short by a loud yawn that escaped her.

"Bed time for humans. Shall I read you a story?" I asked, scooping the worn novel from her bedroom floor. "Wuthering Heights? How about Interview With a Vampire?"." I chuckled, motioning for her to lay down.

"No." Bella shook her head,sending a wave of her scent at me again. "I want to stay up and talk to you." she replied, although the weariness in her voice was evident.

"That wouldn't be wise of you." I replied. "What if you fall and bust your head open from a lack of sleep? I might actually kill you this time." I joked. "Now go to bed before I make you." I threatened.

"Make me? As if you could." Bella chuckled defiantly.

I sent a small wave of lethargy towards her. Almost immediately her eyelids dropped as she struggled to keep them open.

"Point taken." Bella replied, laughing tiredly.

"Now go to bed before I knock you out for a month." I teased. Bella yawned, but turned over in compliance, snuggling back into her nest of pillows and blankets.

Bella's breathing slowed down as she laid in her bed, her heartbeat slow and steady.

"Goodnight and sweet dreams Jasper. I'll see you tomorrow." Her voice hopeful.

"You forget,we don't sleep." I chuckled softly "But yes, you will see me tomorrow."

A sudden wave of joy emanated from Bella, catching me by surprise. It took so little to satisfy her.

"Okay Jasper. Goodnight." Bella's soft whisper broke through the dark,silent room. Happiness laced her words.

Then all I could hear were here low,even breaths and the soft, rhythmic beating of her heart. Just as I had been about to slip out, she caught me off guard, speaking.

"You were right Jasper, about what you said." She murmured. There were no fluctuations in her mood; perhaps she was sleep talking. Edward claimed she was prone to it, but here was a first-hand experience.

"I hope you weren't expecting me to apologize." I replied, not expecting an answer.

"I wasn't." She sighed, turning over again. Shaking my head, I leant over the bed, pulling the window mostly shut.

_This is going to be a long night._ I thought to myself as I settled back in the rocking chair.

***

Sup, homeskillets? Super sorry about the delay; take it up with J, not me. He agreed to have the chapter done by Sunday, over a month ago; then the issues started. He can't keep his computer for longer than one day without getting it confiscated, or so it seems. And then he forgot the plot; but that's ok, we came up with a new and improved one.

I'm sorry that the chapters are dragging on; it's still New Year's day, and the story barely began on New Year's eve. We're fast forwarding it for next chapter, no worries.

Let's see…a few things that need to be approached. First of all, Charlie. I find it high unlikely that he just never heard Bella talking to Edward. After all, he was on the same floor, and I get the feeling the walls in the house were a bit thin. So, even if he could have assumed Bella was on the phone, unless she had it on speaker phone, it would have been a bit hard for Edward to both talk at a level Bella could hear, without alerting Charlie. So, we're making Charlie more observant, and alert. After all, what kind of cop would he be, if any type of noise from his daughter's room didn't send him sprinting up the stairs with a gun? xD.

Next, Jasper's attitude. We were still working out the kinks on that, and seeing as Jasper's POV is done by J, he settled on a sarcastic, dickish attitude, which, after protesting, I agreed on wholeheartedly. Since Jasper was a 'hazard' to Bella's health pre-BD, we didn't get any kind of personality from him. And Alice's influence, along with the Cullens, turned Jasper into a kind of…domesticated vampire, if you will. He was so used to being a killing machine that has attitude adjusted to that, or at least it has in this fic. And then when he became a Cullen (or a Hale, whatever) he had been tired of the killing attitude, and what Alice wanted was to be apart of their family, and since he wanted Alice…Jasper complied.

Or, rather, wants. Jasper still loves Alice, but, there's extenuating circumstances surrounding that.

But yes, so Jasper's attitude is firmly in place, and I'm trying to come up with an idea for the next chapter.

Enjoy the chapter =D. Review, cause reviews are like cookies, and I'll hopefully have the chapter up by Saturday, but updates will be even slower after this, because school starts next week, and in addition to classes, J's now working, and I have journalism obligations that are nearly a fulltime thing. But we promise to continue the story.

Reviewers get a sneak peek quote for next chapter ;D.


	9. Well, it was good while it lasted

**Hey everybody!**

Sorry, this isn't an update to the story…and unfortunately this story will no longer be updated.

It's a bit complicated, but I don't have the time to continue with this, and my co-writer is no longer involved with the story either, so…yeah.

I'm sorry that it had to come to an end, but between school and my personal life, I just don't have the time or the drive to work on it anymore.

If anyone wants to take over the story, feel free to. However, I'd appreciate it if you messaged me through the website to let me know you're taking over. Also, I'd like it to end the same way as my co-writer and I intended for it to end. I can give you the general gist of what we had planned, and let you work with those ideas.

You readers have been great, and maybe one day I'll have a new story that I'll finish, but until then…

Stay golden :].

-Dani


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